INTROSPECTION

We say people have changed......but are we trying to look into ourselves to retrospect whether we are the same or are we dealing with others, the way we want ourselves to be treated....We very rarely do that....We go on complaining that people change....Are we the same...trying to keep in touch with others...Are we responding properly to the moves of others to be in touch...Sometimes when we try to keep contact, we are given a cold attitude and the same people neglect others too.....We have to first correct our responses before judging others. Are we being the same always. 

  It is very easy to say that people have changed. We keep on ranting about it that we never stop to think, if we are a cause in any way for the other person to change..When some one just ignores your gestures to keep in touch, we feel that the person is not interested in continuing your friendship...It takes just two minutes to say a Hi. But if someone gives an excuse that they don't even have time to do that too, it is hard to digest that fact.

Live with a give and take attitude. One cannot always expect importance only for self.. if so then they should also learn to give importance to others. Very easily we blame others, not knowing what that person is going through. It is human tendency to only think of ourselves. Try to always put yourself in the other persons shoes. If it hurts you, then it must be hurting other too. Life is too short to live with a negative attitude.....Always try to see the good side of things and be positive. When that positiveness comes into you...naturally all will get attracted to that positive nature. Nobody likes to live in a world of gloom. The positive attitude radiate all around that your face glows with a positive light emanating from your heart.  This is what inspires others. Get inspired and inspire others.

When we are with people, from some we get only negative vibes, they may be people who have everything money can buy. At the same time some give out such positive vibes, even when they have suffered a lot and still suffereing a lot. Such people have the capacity to  make others smile by always having a smiling face..They have such  strong inner beauty, which radiates on their face giving others a strong positive vibe, which inspires them. 

To put everything in a nutshell let me end it with a quote about attitude by W.Clement Stone. "There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude.”

THE LITTLE THINGS THAT GAVE ME HAPPINESS.

“Sometimes the littlest  things in life can make your whole world change.*

Begin with little efforts that add on to make a big difference in someone’s life. The happiness of life is made up of little things.  When I started my journey of life, I never knew what made me happy. As a tiny tot, I found happiness in talking to my friends, as a result of which I was given the crown of “Chatter Box” both at home and at school. May be chatting around made me happy, I really don’t know. Later on, I don’t remember when I became a reserved person. May be due to the transfers my father had and the change of place and friends.

     When I was in fifth, we were only a handful students in the class. All the school Assemblies, we were given  certain duties. Sometimes it was news reading, sometimes leading the prayer, or Giving the “Thought of the day.” We had to explain and elaborate on which ever proverb we selected.  This made me search for proverbs from books and somehow I got interested in it and started enjoying it too. As I went to higher classes, it was writing a quote on the blackboard. By then I had more books from where I could choose the quote for the week. My father had inculcated the habit of reading books . Another habit he instilled in us was writing in the diary, the day to day incidents of life.

     As I grew up, that became a habit I enjoyed. Whenever I read a book and I found some lines interesting, I would jot it down in my diary, which I used in the classroom blackboard or bulletin boards. When I became a teacher, I started collecting bookmarks with quotes and I took immense care of those by pasting it in an album according to the topic. This gave me immense pleasure. I used it in my class room display board. Then I was entrusted the work of putting thought for the day, near the HM’s Office and the bulletin boards.  The quotes used to be based on the topic chosen by the class teacher for the Assembly.  With the Centenary block coming up, we had a notice board for parents.  Quotes had to be put along with pictures,  that enhances the quote.  Sometimes suggestions used to come from all sources for better pictures and efforts were taken to search for better pictures from colorful magazines.

   When I quit teaching, my little happiness just faded away. Then I joined the social network and once again I started with my quotes as my status messages. There were a lot of friends who encouraged me and also a few with words of appreciation. Some felt inspired reading it, while others left a note of thanks for the encouraging words.  A few of my friends who knew me well, encouraged me to start a page. My niece also kept compelling me to do it. Since I used to do a lot of handiwork, which was something which gave me lot of happiness. Those handwork was something I made and gifted my friends. The thought was always there at the back of my mind.

   When I became handicapped with doctor’s advice  of stopping my craft work with my right hand, I had to keep away from doing something I loved . I took to writing about my experiences and my journey through cancer. There were a lot of small books which I had collected over the years and the sayings which I had copied down in my diary. I decided to start a page, where I could also put the poems written by my little niece. The books I had bought during my teaching days, came out of its hiding place.

   I restarted that “Little thing” which had become special for me and which gave me happiness. I have to thank my niece for always being after me and encouraging me to start the page and also helps me with quotes and pictures. I would also like to thank all my friends who have liked my page” Musings” and also takes time to browse through my page. If I am able to inspire at least one person daily, that makes my effort a fruitful one. I feel happy that I am again doing that “Little thing’”, which I always loved from a time I can remember. Something,  which I have always loved doing  and also kept me happy. A work I did with a lot of zest . A small effort ,to create a positive attitude and also inspire those who took time to read them. Sometimes it is these little things that bring us a lot of happiness. If I can bring  a smile on a person’s face, or if someone can derive inspiration from it, then the effort I take is rewarded. And bringing a smile on a friend’s face gives me a lot of happiness and means a lot to me.

ON LINE FRIENDSHIPS.

In our journey of life, we meet a lot of people. Some of them are with us only for a short time, while some of them become special to us. We get to know them better and a good rapport is formed. They become part and parcel of our life. There used to be times, when people became pen pals, they stayed connected only through letters initially. Letters used to be the only way of communication, and may be a phone call.. But they became good friends and also made plans to meet each other to give more meaning to their friendship.  Now with the internet and social networks, we get to meet a lot of people, though in a virtual world. Another form of pen pals, one could say.

        I too made a lot of friends through face book and other games. Some of them were just acquaintances. Some of them became good friends. With the formation of groups, it became more fun with exchange of tit bits, recipes, music, art etc. A group of friends,  belonging to different places, with different tastes and characteristics. It became a second home  for people leading a lonely life away from home. We never saw them personally, but still exchanged words on the walls and finally became a part of an extended family.

        Some of them became close friends and some of them special to us in some way. Arranging to meet these friends, whom we have never met, became an exciting experience. A memory , to be cherished forever. Sometimes we never get a chance to meet them, still they remain close friends. We get to understand them and sometimes small fights, where the child in us pops its head out and makes us sulk till we are pampered to come out of the wall each one builds. For some the friendship remains virtual one only, nothing more than that. Once they get to know each other, efforts are made to keep in touch by speaking to each other.

    When we talk to each other on the walls, the tone of a person’s written words give us a clue of their moods and feelings. As the saying goes “A pen is mightier than a sword,” means a lot here. When we write on the walls, sometimes we get so carried away, that we lose track of what we are writing. It becomes very difficult to erase it out…These words sometimes stare at us from our walls. We have to tackle every friendship we make with tact. Respect every friendship and try to keep it live.

     Daily we are keen to meet those friends; we have met on the walls of our computer.  One day, we don’t see them, there is concern in our minds, as to what happened. Plans are made to meet each other, sometimes it is surprise calls from them. In today’s stress filled world, this turn out to be a blessing, as there is lot of fun, teasing and puzzles to be solved in some groups.  We grow so close to some of them, in spite of the distance, we feel we have known each other for a long time. There is some kind of rapport and understanding, that we get to know if there is a slight change in the way they wish you  a “Good Morning” or a “Hi”.

     Some say all these friendships are namesake ones…..But I have always valued friendship and my friends. I did get a few friends who have been with me even in my worst time, giving me support and encouraging me always.  They have been very close to my heart….Sometimes an unseen bond binds us so close to each other, that we feel incomplete or unsatisfied with life when you don’t see them one day. It is not necessary to see each other in real life, to have that bonding.  But I should say that I have lost a few of them, just like that for no reason. I do try to keep in touch and if I have made a friendship I have made it with sincerity.

  In short, we make a lot of friends. It is easy to make friends, but we have to take time and effort to keep up these friendships. A small “Hi”, a wish, or a smile to show that they are always remembered, is enough to bring a smile on the face of a friend. Try to always maintain a cordial relationship with each friend you have made. We never know what a friend has gone through in life, we have to be very careful when we make assumptions. These friendships teach us to adjust and accommodate. We don’t see the faces, but somehow from the words we see, we understand them. They also teach us that we need not see face to face, to keep up a friendship. I do believe in angels, and I feel some of our friends become angels to see us through, in life.

 In a friendship there is something of all relations and it becomes something above all of them. We often find that when things become difficult and each step is heavy to take, a friend comes along and eases our way by being with us. Each moment spent with a friend is like a beautiful flower that is placed in life’s bouquet. 

Contemplation's of a Teacher

“A teacher’s influence extends into eternity. While Emerson declared  that men are what their mothers make them, Aristotle placed teachers on a higher plane, when he said; “They who educate children are to be honoured more than those who bear them for these only give life, those the art of living well. It is very true that the influence a teacher makes on a student is great. As a teacher & a mother I feel there is a lot of truth in that statement. Very rarely a student forgets his/her first teacher. My experience with the tiny tots has been a fulfilling and satisfying one.

       When these kids first enter school, they are just uprooted from the secure lap of their parents/grand parents, to a completely new atmosphere. They feel lost and insecure for the first few days till they get used to their teacher. It becomes a second home for them, with their teacher taking the place of their mother. It is such a beautiful experience, as these tiny tots look up to you as a mother/teacher/ role model. They become so attached to you and so possessive, that each one thinks that the teacher is his/her own property. They come to you with every little problem of theirs, which includes complaints about their mother or father scolding, brother or sister hurting or small bruises they got while playing etc. As one comes up with such a story, others follow with their own little tales.

       
Later on, as the teacher starts teaching them, each child wants to be the first one to be taught to write, to colour or to recite rhymes. Then it is a competition among them as to who would be the first to complete their work. It is such a fulfilling & beautiful feeling, when you inspire them to learn the letters of the alphabet and the numbers. It is that foundation which sees them through their entire life. It sometimes becomes tiring at times because of their mood swings. It is then you need to coax them and pamper them to get their attention. But at the end of it, you have a great satisfaction.

      
You get to learn a lot from these tiny tots. They have a unique way of making friends. The way they  laugh and talk to each other and share with each other. There is so much innocence in their friendships. Sometimes they fight and then a few minutes later, you see them hugging each other and walking hand in hand. It is as if they have not fought at all. They have no egos like the elders.  When one child finishes writing  and finds  the other struggling to write, they hold hands of the other and help them to write.

   
At times I have found the most well behaved and obedient child becoming very indifferent and bullying others. Even when you try to talk to them, they just become silent.I really used to find it very confusing. Unless the child is going through some kind of a problem, it is unusual of a child to suddenly misbehave. When you talk to the anxious parents about the child, they too find it confusing as they are not able to understand the cause. It is sometimes the birth of a younger one that causes this insecurity. At times it is the fights at home, or death of a close one in the family. Sometimes the child opens up and speaks out when extra love and care is shown to that child. Then the attitude slowly changes. But if  it goes unnoticed, the child becomes a very troublesome student.

  
To put it in a nutshell, it is the most rewarding experience, I have ever had as a teacher. You need the patience and a love for these tiny tots. Sometimes you have to be one among them. Only then you can build a rapport with them. They observe you a lot and imitate too. We too can learn a lot from them by observing them. Some of them remain friends throughtout their life. The first teacher always makes a lasting impression in the minds of children.

FRIENDSHIP IS A PUZZLE.

“Friends are like the pieces of a puzzle. Even if one goes away, that piece can never be replaced & that puzzle will never be whole again”.

Friendship is the hardest thing to explain, still we maintain friendships for so many years. Some of them are childhood friends. They may not communicate with each other at all, Still when they meet, it is as if they have never been away from each other. They always have beautiful memories etched in their mind & heart. Some long time friendships fade away & some fall apart as time goes by, due to social status & financial background. Such a friend is not worth keeping or remembering.  Friendship is not formed or kept because of what they have or what they become. Such a friendship & friend  can never be trusted in life.

            Just as the saying goes, “When a bird is alive... it eats Ants. When the bird is dead... Ants eat the bird! So... Time & Circumstances can change at any time... Don't devalue or hurt anyone in life. You may be powerful today... But Remember... ... Time is more powerful than You!! One tree makes a million match sticks... But when the time comes... Only one match stick is needed to burn a million trees...”We should never forget who we were & whatever we are today. People always forget that just a few seconds  is enough to lose everything we have in life….status, power, riches, fame etc. No one on this earth can buy true friendship. But a genuine friend who loves us for what we  are will be with us whatever our circumstances might be.

                                    People who make & break friendships based on social status & financial  stability, do so either for self interest or mutucal interest. Those who look out for outward appearance & beauty also , never realize that it is the inner beauty of a person  & , the love & care, that matters the most. Some just move away when we are in a critical situation & come back to us when we are financially  stable. These  are bitter experiences that make us strong enough to face the harsh realities of life.

Whatever  our feeling might be, it should be mutual in  a friendship. If we expect to be complimented, then we should have the heart to compliment others too.  A friendship is a one way road to be travelled equal distance by both. We realize who our true friends are when we go through a bad time in life. A time when all we need is someone to remind us that we are strong enough to face it or a kind word to say “ We are with you”. It acts like a balm that soothes away all the pain & makes  us feel that we are not alone.

              Friendship is a bond where both have to take equal efforts to maintain that special bond. Once the bond is strong it never looks for social status or financial stability. Never trust a person who looks for it in a friendship. Friendship is a bond that grows gradually through the efforts made by two people, giving each other ample space & time. It is not a bond made by an agreement & with conditions, but  by understanding & adjustments when it is needed . Never take it for granted.

                          A friendship should get better with the passage of time, learning to appreciate each other. The best thing one can have is a true friend & the best thing one can be is a true friend to another.

THE ULTIMATE TRUTH.

THE ULTIMATE TRUTH.


“Life is a question; nobody can answer it. Death is an answer; nobody can question it”. Author Unknown.


A bitter and a painful truth; which no one can deny. Daily we hear so much about illness; nobody knows why it happens. We call it fate or destiny. It becomes a part of life. Some take it very badly while others take it in their stride thinking it is also a part of life.

When it comes to death, if a person is old and ailing, we console ourselves thinking that their suffering has come to an end. But when a young person dies, it is really devastating, especially if it happens to be their life partner. It is becomes very difficult to ease their pain or console them.We are at out wits end not knowing what to tell them except be with them in their hour of grief. Sometimes fate is very cruel. The void created by the person we have lost, can never be taken up by anyone else. Life is a cycle. No one knows what is in store for us. Still we dare to hope for the best. It is that hope & faith that keeps us going. Once we are born, we have to die one day. The life between life & death is unknown to all of us. Everything depends on how we face it & our attitude towards life.

We never realize the bitter pain of death till we see it with our own eyes. It is then the fact sinks into us that, we never know what is in store for us the next second. But it is futile to live with that fear. We have to learn to take things as it comes. We have to learn to get over the grief for the sake of the living near & dear ones. Otherwise life becomes very difficult for us & also for our loved ones. We have to face life with courage & move on. They say “Time is a good healer”. Yes it is. There is nothing that the passage of time cannot heal. Memories will be there with us always. It is left to us, whether we want to remember the best or the worst. There will be pain when we are reminded about a person we have lost, but we can make those memories a thing to cherish by remembering only the good times we had with the lost one.

It is said that Life is a “Beautiful” lie & Death is a “Painful” truth.Life asked death; 
"Why do people love me, but hate you?" Death responded, "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth." But life is always beautiful and it is up to you to make it beautiful.

BRIDGING THE GAP

BRIDGING THE GAP


"Love can build a bridge but fun & laughter can hold it together".

What does it mean by " to bridge the gap"? When we think of this phrase, what comes to our mind ? We think of trying to bridge the gap between two people or trying to ease or overcome the tension between them.

This happens in our families, with friends, people working with us & in many other relationships. We become a bridge between two people at home or two friends. When we become close to people & find that those who were close to each other has some misunderstanding or has started drifting away from each other, you feel sad & try to bridge the gap between them. Only communication can bridge a gap between two people.

Sometimes trying to bridge the gap between them, becomes very tiring & we feel a sort of helplessness engulfing us. This happens when neither of them try to take an effort to ease the situation. When we feel that nothing is happening & the gap is just widening due to different reasons, we feel dejected that just a little effort from both sides would have been enough to set it right. Sometimes they need an extra push by someone to solve the problem. In the end if the effort is fruitful, then we feel happy for them & on the top of the world.

Being a bridge is sometimes very painful experience, especially when it happens in our day to day life. We get sandwiched between two people when there is a problem due to ego or lack of communication. It pains us even more when they are the close ones in our life. It is a great feeling & a sweet responsibility to be a pillar of strength in any relationship. But is can be painful to see them fall apart & become like stangers.

Always bear in mind that friendship is a bridge & both need to span that bridge to eliminate any gap. Acknowledge each other & never let anything hamper the growing bond of friendship. Always have a give & take policy in life.

Tag photo

A Broken Bridge

When I hear the phrase "Broken Bridge", I always connect it to the "Broken Bridge" in Adyar, Chennai. It is a dilapidated pedestrian bridge, located at the mouth of the Adyar river In chennai, India. The bridge was built to facilitate the movement of fishermen from the Santhome Beach to Elliots Beach in Besant Nagar over the mouth of the Adyar river. The bridge spans across the Adyar Estuary bordering the back end of the Theosophical Society. The bridge partly collapsed due to the strong currents of the river & sea during a particular monsoon, and was later never repaired. When you visit the broken bridge in the evenings, there is a tranquility that engulfs you. It is a pleasure to sit & watch the waves in the sea splashing on the shore & hear a lot of birds chirping. You get to see a lot of birds flying away home.

Just like the "Broken Bridge", which bore the brunt of rough weather & never got repaired, there are a few relationships in life that never get repaired because of our ego, anger & hurt. If we had taken time to repair it letting go of our ego & hurt, instead of letting go our relationships, we would not have had bad memories.

We just need to take "that extra effort" to keep a relationship alive.That " extra effort" has to come from both sides. Life  is beautiful, only when two persons who love & care for each other, take time & effort to make a strong bond. When faced with rough situations, the bond between them does not crack,it becomes so strong that nothing can destroy it. Small arguments & fights show that there is life in a relationship. Then there is more understanding & care in the relationship. Sometimes it is lack of communications, that causes the rift. Never let any misunderstanding grow because that leads to a rift & if left without communication, it leads to hurt.


Never take anyone for granted. Don't let your close ones feel that they are just an option & not a priority in your life. " A lovely logic for life: Never try to maintain relations in your life… Just try to maintain life in your relationships". If there is no life in a relationship it dies a natural death.But when ego & hurt comes in between, the relationship is murdered. So always take time& effort to tell them how much you love & care for them.

WHAT CANCER TAUGHT ME…

In my walk of life, though I gave a lot of importance to relationships, be it family or friends, many a time I felt I was taken for granted….then the harsh experience of comparison, neglect, hurt, a feeling of being used set in..I had lot of patience & gave a long rope to everyone in my life. I always used to put myself in the other person’s shoes. In my younger days I was too frank. When I got married I realized it doesn’t help being frank & I learned the art of diplomacy . Whenever my relationships went through rough weather, instead of “letting go “ of my ego, I “let go” of my relationships.

It is when the harsh reality of CANCER hit me, I realized the truth that “ Life is short . Why waste it in unnecessary squabbles? It is better to enjoy every moment of life without any regrets” Cancer taught me to accept each & every person as he/she is, to accept a person with good & bad, as no one is perfect. Who am I to judge a person, when I am myself not perfect. I have always been happy with what I have in life, in both good & bad times. Then why can’t I be happy with a person, taking him/her as he/she is.

People say that there is a snake within every human being. We rarely realize that a snake emits venom or bites, only when it is provoked & helpless. So also, a human being, who has a lot of patience, when compared & provoked , the snake in them raises its ugly hood. When we are ready to forgive & forget, it recoils itself. But we realize it very late when the gap has widened a lot. Cancer taught me that it doesn’t help in any way to keep a grudge or feeling of hatred. In fact it gives peace of mind when you let go & in the end you are at peace with your inner self.

I also happened to read an article about Cancer By John Hopkins. According to his study on Cancer he says” Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit.A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life”. I try my best to think only of the positive side of life & people.

I have found peace within myself. Cancer taught me so many things which even the bitter experiences of my life had not. I learned that I can be beautiful even being bald. I learned that I can be beautiful in spite of my being less feminine in appearance. Beauty is not external; beauty is a glowing light in the heart & a smile which radiates & glows on your face. I have been a born fighter & my motto is” Never ever give up in life”.


Nothing in life should be taken for granted
By a Cancer Survivor.(Author unknown)

I know there is nothing in life you should take for granted.
I know which battles I can fight and which ones I don’t need to.
I know the difference between important and irrelevant.
I know every second I waste, is a second I’ll never get back.
I know I can have scars and still be beautiful.
I know my life is just as valuable after cancer as it was before, even if life insurance companies feel differently.
I know the difference between romance and real love.
I know that an hour in traffic is much shorter than an hour waiting for results.
I know that there is something I can learn from everything I am faced with.
I know true strength has nothing to do with how strong you are.
I know that people are all good and kind, even if sometimes we don’t all act that way.
I know I’m here for a good time, a long time, so I better make the best of it.
I know one day, I won’t be here, but I’m lucky to be here now