Over the mist of Life.

Life is just like the mist that is seen  for a little while and then disappears. Even when there is mist in your horizon, or your body, mind, heart, soul is hurting, eventually it will clear and bring light. At times, things don't make sense in life, things that you cannot explain or understand, no matter how hard you try, but like mist it may just vanish.  You cannot hold or cling to them, nor keep in a treasure box. Some things in life are inevitable,  they  come like the mist and disappear.

On certain days, the same mist is beautiful and breathtaking, making fascinating masterpieces pleasing the beholder forming clouds of different form and colour. Sometimes you just look at the sky and you see them change into splendid forms and giving a portrayal of magnificence for poetry or a painting. You may be enshrouded by mist or clouds, that is veiled and beautiful leaving you amazed at its breathtaking beauty. What 'sun' is to the clouds and the mist, is our 'attitude' towards life. The mist of life can end anywhere, because you are just a whiff of the mist, that catches the light of the sun before it disappears.

Mist is a  blurred vision of something real and true in life, that cannot be understood or not meant to be understood. It is  mystic but natural, more than what can be seen in the horizon and a force that connects everything in life. The mist in the sky disappears as the sun's light enters,painting the sky with beautiful colours, illuminating it with a brightness and its shining rays with changing scenes of splendor.

Some of your most magical times of a day may be the early morning, when the whole universe is just waking up,  mist covered around you with faint light seeping in,  a whiff of cool breeze  caressing you,  getting out to the surrounding nature to see,  enjoy  and forget yourself in its beauty.It is bliss watching different shapes appear from the mist as it hovers above you,   in silence moving on in its morning spree and inhaling  that fresh misty air makes you fresh and alive as it shrouds your way with a ghostly glee. There is something strange about the mist, drifting in its beauty, that is magical.

Capture the morning mist that is beauty at its best. A misty morning is quiet and beautiful with the sun just rising and coming up. It is a joy riding or walking  through the mist and then the sun's rays clearing  up your path. The beauty of mist is incredible and coming out of a mist filled path of life too is mysterious and magical.

The journey of a blooming bud.

" And the day came when the risk  to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. " Anais Nin.

The time comes and the risk is to remain tight or blossom. A great dichotomy of life.  The image of a bud painfully clenched, closed and the inevitable pain in the process. These types of situations do happen is life sometimes. It is a reflection of helplessness in some situations of life. It is finding a new meaning to the quote, a  determined magic of getting out of a pain which has to be defeated, because remaining in that pain would be just stopping your fight for life. It is hard and painful to be in that emotional rock bottom state, that tends to torture your core of life with a helpless feeling. You learn a new lesson of life and struggle to find a release that you need for a significant change to your emotions. It is an outcry of reaching the end of your rope and then an awakening to a greater  fight and well being.

The opening of yourself from that bud of mental turmoil, though very painfully. The blossoming of the bud summarizes the process. The petals release itself  from the cluster with abandon, spreading  beautifully and bloom. The energy released in the process is great and it is same in a state of numb pain that engulfs you.  The pained soul would have loved to remain in that state, but difficult for a fighter to accept it. It is then an outburst of the soul's pain, and the pain is released, giving an inspiration to keep fighting and a new sense of commitment. No one may see it, but it is you remaining 'you' and a fulfillment of your life to grow, bud and bloom, whatever happens. It is your  will to fight and persevere with  determination; your will power that is at stake, so you have to come out of the bud of pain that engulfed you and bloom, with a positive glow.

The bud within me, has to bloom, however hard the struggle is, unless I want it to wither and die. And I am not made that way, nor do I want to live with that pain. It is not like me to do that. I don't think I would live with that, even though it is painful. Those moments of pain is too hard to take and feels like the chest would rip open, but it is always better to wrap your arms around yourself and say, I have to do it. I have to come out of it. I can't become a victim to this. You feel you are at the edge of a cliff and the knots in your stomach prevent you to leap and then you realize you are strong enough to withstand it. You find that an ache swells up and it suffocates you thinking how could a fighter like you come to such a rock bottom state.

Every positive person too is a human being. Though born fighters in life, there are moments that make it impossible to go through, because you feel it is not in your hands to make a situation possible to be mended and being brave alone doesn't help. When you fight and come out of such a situation, it is like being given the choice to remain tightly  in your bud of pain or go through that pain and bloom with renewed hope and spread the petals and let the fragrance spread. It is a realization that to keep fighting in life is being like a blooming bud forever.

The lighthouse inside you.

“There are times when the ocean is not the ocean - not blue, not even water, but some violent explosion of energy and danger: ferocity on a scale only Gods can summon. It hurls itself at the island, sending spray right over the top of the lighthouse, biting pieces off the cliff. And the sound is a roaring of a beast whose anger knows no limits. Those are the nights the light is needed most.” 

― M. L. Stedman

A lighthouse has always fascinated me in many ways, a mystical presence, a sign of undying hope, determination, perseverance and its mysterious ways of warning with a beam , a beacon of light.  A lighthouse stands  tall alone both in light and darkness, it is a beacon and a focal symbol of strength, guidance and a comforting sign that calm waters of a welcoming harbour is close at hand. It is a sign of stability and steadfastness; its immovability inspires perseverance and dedication.  Its burning light provoke feelings of determination and continued diligence. A lighthouse might have been the only light in a violent storm giving hope and optimism to those who saw it.

Light is often used to symbolically suggest guidance, hope, and strength, though it is darkness that reigns at the foot of a lighthouse. It is like a star- a guide and beacon of hope to all voyaging or adrift in life's journey. The storms are representation of all adversities and challenges. Storms are also metaphors of inner demons existent or non-existent, tormenting the mind. Just like the quote," It is always darkest before dawn," things are most hopeless in the middle of a turmoil or trauma. The light that guides you at such times is the inner strength or inner light that keeps you going with hope. 

The strength of the lighthouse is symbolized by its location and the circular motion makes it unaffected to the most bitter gales which time and nature can hurl, showing its stability and reliability. A beacon of hope shining in all directions and enabling all who are adrift, steer   away from storms to calm waters of life, which the lighthouse always oversees. It always reminds us that regardless of how turbulent life is, you need only your guiding light within to keep you afloat. Your inner strength is the lighthouse of your life. 

Lighthouse symbolizes your inner spark or the irreplaceable spark that gives hope in the darkest hours of life, a reminder that you can fight out all tempests that come to shake your fortress of strength, a sense of protection or connection to life. It is a tower of strength that warns you of impending dangers and anchorages to reduce the hazards of life. There is always an inner light to face any storm. 

Life is always like the sea, with raging storms, rainstorms or a storm cloud to bring you pain, but just as rainbows follow;  your journey is never worn out because the darkest  times lead to a bright new day if your inner sparking lighthouse is always there leading you out of all storms of life. It is your belief in yourself which will be your lighthouse, when you are tossed in the sea of life. Even when you are challenged with the tsunamis of life, the inner positive light holds the spark to the shining bright light of your lighthouse. 

All of us have a lighthouse inside, an inner shining light that gives a positive light. Let it shine to create a beam of a lighthouse.  Stand tall and shining in all storms of life.  I have mostly faced only adversity and challenges; gone through and going through a lot of pain ,  I have endured hardships, I have suffered loss of loved ones, I have beautiful memories and memories that I would love to forget.  But everything has made me stronger, those who love me are always there for me,  today I face the world with a smile because I believe in myself and my inner strength to bounce back and fight life. I have a lighthouse of strength inside me to be a torch of hope,  inspiration and  a fortress to my loved ones, though the day to day turmoils do come to threaten the ever glowing inner positive light.

A Contemplative Transition of Life.

" How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be." Elizabeth Lesser

A contemplative transition while being temporarily painful, leads you to the highest mountains and creates bridges to a brighter inner spark that can be irreplaceable, a more courageous inner-self who has the strength and confidence to fight the challenges of life; both physically and psychologically. While looking at yourself, like the unwavering sun, how strong and powerful you really are; it is a way of being contented that you are able to fight your own blues away, doing away with everything unreasonable, relaxed in the positive self, conveying that you have a clear, satisfying understanding of what you are, what you want to do and your belief in withstanding the crossover of  any crossroads of life.

A deep realization of your 'self' consciously keeping at bay certain questions and  emotions, re-evaluating yourself and your inner strengths; and then liberating yourself from all doubs, thoughts and emotions to help in a transition that can be as painful as the shedding of the snake's skin. It is a process the snake undergoes a lot of pain. It is visibly uncomfortable, irritated, uncertain, putting all its energy to the task of ridding its skin to become renewed again. While snakes do it physically for man it is metaphorical and many a time it occurs during repeated challenges of illness, fighting through the trauma and also loss of all types. It is very painful yet profoundly alter your experiences and catapult you through an unknown phase of life.

The process of self re-evaluating oneself is very painful, especially at such a phase of life when you are going through the worst challenge of fighting life itself, enduring all pains without a complaint. It is a self determination to persevere and a motivation reflected within to the self statement," This is not me, I have got to do something and if anything can change, it is my thoughts and emotions." You know your  ability to change those  situations into a positive one with grit and will power. Even though you go through a lot of pain both physical and emotional, it is a commitment to yourself. An urge to always be the born fighter and only a positive fortress of strength to your loved ones. A realization that to maintain it, the best way is to keep going irrespective of all that goes on around you and inside of you.

It is an understanding of all silences, and a step-by-step process of self-preservation and being true to yourself. A mysterious revelation of what 'was', 'is' and 'will be' leaving everything to nature. A contemplative time with nature to both heal and invigorate, be calm and rejuvenate; connecting yourself to the wisdom of nature, providing yourself surprising answers to all personal and existential questions, that helps devote your time to fulfill your dream and purpose. Treasure each living moment because it is a miracle. Nature, time and patience are the greatest  physicians;  take the goodness of nature, with time and be patient to heal yourself.

The spectacular Sunset - a rare phenomenon with cloud Iridescence.

We all know that a cloud has a silver lining, but  a cloud with  a rainbow lining is definitely a rare phenomenon. Cloud iridescence is the occurrence of colours in a cloud, a diffraction phenomenon caused by water droplets in the air. Raindrops act like a thousand prisms,  reflecting colours. I have heard of rainbow clouds, but to view a silver lining of a cloud, filled with rainbow colours is a rare sight to behold. Iridescent clouds are clouds with rainbow colours that happen when tiny water droplets individually scatter light. When such a cloud is seen, it is  especially due to the tiny droplets in the air.

The dark grey clouds in an otherwise blue sky is considered dull and drab by many. But I have always loved the heavy dark clouds, for the sheer fact that it is a sign of hope for a parched soul, a parched land and for nature itself. The sun brightly shining, silhouetted behind the dark grey clouds, in the blue sky was a sight to behold. The clouds gave a feeling of a mountain range, and a man's face looking up at the sky with hope. Just beside them were bluish grey clouds , that looked like  snow capped mountains. It was a soothing sight watching the sun slowly hiding behind the heavy clouds till it was out of view.

The dark clouds then got covered with an arc of silver lining and  dark grey rays of the sun covering the sky above the clouds. Next to it were white small white clouds. as time ticked by, the silver lining of the cloud was covered with a palette of rainbow colours that made me awe struck. The sun's rays were emanating all the rainbow colours, because of the water particles in the heavy dark clouds. Wishing for a rainbow to appear, watched the spectacular, splendid sky in awe.

It is said every cloud has a silver lining, but that silver lining displaying all the different colours of the rainbow was indeed a rare sight and felt it to be a blessing to soothe the mind, soul and body.  How these dark clouds could display such a beautiful sight, that really spreads hope and inspiration to the beholder. Even the birds were perched all over, watching the sky, making a lot of noise chirping. It could be a call to its flock, is what I felt witnessing such a spellbinding rare beauty of nature.

My daily rendezvous with sunset, a part of my daily life, taught me a lot in life. A daily motivator and the oneness with nature inspires me in a way no one and nothing else. You are always in the company of all that surrounds you and it gives hope. I did really wish that I had a beautiful camera to capture those rare sights. But was happy doing it in my mobile, though I could not capture it in its full beauty because I am not good at photography.

The journey of a tiny seed.

1. "The tiny seed knew that in order to grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness, and struggle to reach the light." Sandra Kring.
2. The journey of a  tiny seed is a valuable insight to the life, of a man, the toils, struggles, challenges, adversities...at the end of all the struggles a tiny seed goes through,  it may emerge as a mighty oak. The tiny seeds too bears all the elements like the wind, storm and at times the drought, just like in life when every day is not fine weather but when you fight through and persevere, it may be another sunny day and end up as a stronger person or a sturdier seedling. Like a seedling, if you are strong, you are able to prevail. An entire plant or tree is present inside a seedling.
3. A seed that grows, sprouts, blossoms and bears fruits goes through the various seasons of its life, in its journey. Nature in reality mirrors a lot of extraordinary learning experience, if at all you care to notice. Every seed or man, is designed to grow to its best capacity at a certain depth. Not a single seed, no matter, the best, however perfect and remarkable cannot come up on its own. It requires sun, water,etc., to grow and man also needs external elements to grow. A seed does grow even when it does not know where it will go nor what it will become. Just as a seed grows through darkness in the soil, that is inevitable, man's journey also is through resistance, only through pain it can push and glow in the light.  A seedling, buried beneath the soil keeps growing even if it is in the dark. Similarly man's journey has lot of pressure, to get  a sense of certainty and clarity about who, what and where each one is going. Most of the journey of life is unknown, but it goes on.
4. A seed doesn't stop growing even when it is unknown about where it is going or what it will become. It has its faith, the faith of a tiny seedling and you are surrounded by such innumerous seeds. It is a great inspiration to think of its journey because it grows through pain and resistance. Once it pushes its way through resistance it carries on its journey through light. This is the experience a man too goes through but a man judges it and tries to evade it or get over it fast. Nature gives a lot of clues to man and the simplest of all is the journey of a tiny seedling. It doesn't know what it has to encounter on its journey, still it grows and that is the courage of the seed.
5. Your body helps you to resist and you resist through the pain- physical, emotional and all sorts of pain required to grow. Pain and resistance are closely related and it is a fact of life that if you lack resistance, there is no pain and that may be  the end of a point of breaking, blossoming and emerging into the light. You can neither hurry with it nor avoid it. A seed grows irrespective of everything around it, into a plant, blossoms and bears fruit.  It is your awareness of life, you have problems, pains, dissatisfactions and that is where the real journey of life begins. When the seed pops out of the darkness of the soil, into the light it is rapturous.For man too after going through all the pain and resistance, emerging from the long tunnel of trauma, it is a moment of ecstatic joy. When adversities strike continuously, you cannot avoid pain, you have to go through it with resilience and it needs extraordinary faith, grit and determination to live with it.
6. It is indeed a glorious experience to be able to emerge out of  the challenging pains and realize your potential to see where you are getting at. To try and know that you grow with that pain is not easy, it can be frustrating and consume a lot of your positive energy, but in the end when you emerge; you may be able to laugh at it because it is no more a mystery to you. The changes that happens to you is like that of a seed, the painful endurance to split and become what it is meant to  be. It struggles in the dark to find what it needs and finally it comes out still remembering its journey - a journey through the unknown - to the finality of cracking open into the light.

        

   
   

   Going through a challenging life of pain daily, is a process like that of a seed crackling out of its old shell into a sprout  of soft tenderness. It is surrendering to an enduring process of that you cannot see,  with resilience and perseverance; knowing very well  that at the end of it all what will emerge is beyond your imagination, something marvellous worth all the pain. It is a new lease of life.As Mark Nepo quoted in his book, "As a seed buried in the earth cannot imagine itself as an orchid or hyacinth, neither can a heart packed with hurt imagine itself loved or at peace. The courage of a seed is that once cracking, it cracks all the way." It is a metaphor and makes you realize that when you look at nature, you see 'Life's Journey' reflected in it. It is an awakening inside you that you have a life spark and a seed's spirit. All changes that takes place in your life is compared to the courage of a seed to break through the soil. It is the painful experience of a seed enduring the pain to split apart and become something it is unaware of. Deep under the earth it fights for water, sun and all the nutrients it needs to grow and when it finally comes out of the soil, it is not recognised by those who knew it to be only a seed. It still understands and perceives its journey of life into something unknown.
7. Going through a challenging life of pain daily, is a process like that of a seed crackling out of its old shell into a sprout  of soft tenderness. It is surrendering to an enduring process of that you cannot see,  with resilience and perseverance; knowing very well  that at the end of it all what will emerge is beyond your imagination, something marvellous worth all the pain. It is a new lease of life.

The pain and anguish of a Positive soul.

" Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned that it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we all could do without, in our life here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and feeling of pain. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs,  but healing is the closest thing that will give wind against our faces." C.Joybell.C

When a person like me, apparently known as an 'Epitome of Positivity, goes through a short phase of gnawing pain, emptiness or feeling of being a helpless soul, it is hard for anyone to digest, even for me.  I am an optimist and I do believe in being positive always. But am I an 'epitome of positivity', who is refreshing and inspiring I really don't know. I do have the faith that I don't let negative thoughts come that easily to break me. Even the most positive person, has times of uncertainty and  weakness, going through a lot of pain physically and emotionally. I have been a born fighter always and still am, but sometimes it does become very difficult to fight a battle and everything else surrounding you.

Have you ever felt so much pain there were no words to describe how you felt?There are times when pain, distress, hurt seem too great to bear; you grasp for words but cannot describe the pain. Sometimes you are filled with an anguish of all sorts and become paralyzed to think clearly or take any positive steps to change a situation. But you interrupt the flooding by holding on to the fact that it is a passing phase. I really believe in what John Burroughs quoted, " I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to put my senses in order." Nature has a very unique way of  healing and soothing your senses. To be one with nature is a great feeling. When I find that all my physical and emotional pains are too much to handle, I feel like packing my bags and getting away to the mountains, to be refreshed by the misty mountains. I remember my Cardiologist telling me, to go to a hill station for a change, to undo all that I have gone through.

I hate the feeling of being miserable, something I have never liked in myself. The biggest battle that goes on inside me. And it is then a fear is born of may be the inevitable, that causes a lot of concern in the most positive person too.  It is a feeling that roots from being helpless or the daily fight that goes on  when you fight to drag yourself from the physical helplessness that curbs certain movements in you.. My friend, my family doctor, confidante, counsellor told me to just let that feeling take its stride, as it is a fight between the mind and the body.

It is not an easy task to quieten your racing heart, a feeling of a big boulder pressing your chest and the pain you go through when you go to bed after a tiring day, with all the aches and pains of the day.  Every night I fight the squeezing feeling of the chest, which I was told that I have no other go but to live with it. Sometimes it does make you helpless. I went through a phase of fear and anxiety, but I really managed to squash all those feelings and got back on my feet with a smile, thinking if I let those feelings take the better of me, I would become an emotional wreck, that I almost became.  I hate that feeling and decided to just kick it off. I cannot allow the inner spark of light to die down just like that. My physical pains have never bothered me too much, so decided not to brood over things that I cannot change. Let it take its own course, as I know it is a passing phase.

I was going through all the forwards that some of my close friends had e-mailed me, and re-read something about a friend who was a fighter like me,  the passing phases in life she underwent.  I found out ways of using my time to do many other things that I love to do. Everyone goes through a phase, when the positivity dwindles a bit, due to many reasons, then it gets back in full force. My passing phases are always very short and I usually never let anyone get even an inkling of it, but sometimes it happens that my close ones do get to know of it. If at all anyone comes to know of it, it is mostly one statement " I never expected you to be like this,"  except  those who really know me, for what I am.

My pains I have to live with it, is what all doctors advise me. And I have learnt to challenge it and fight it out. I realized if I can fight all the trauma that the emperor of maladies gave me, then I can fight out anything in life. Life only makes you miserable by brooding over things, and that stress can lead to the emperor of maladies poking its head again. Why allow it to gnaw at my tissues again, by inviting stress? So I bounced back with a smile, squashing away all that came to weaken my fortress of strength, counting only the little blessings that came my way and still comes my way. Why not just work for the little wish I have in me, streamlining my time and efforts to reach my goal.

So though I did slip and fall within myself, I decided that my fortress cannot be attacked by anything, because it is not worth it to let anything come in my way to fight my battles. It is my own battles and no one would understand anything  of my trauma and journey throughout my life. When I have come so far with my head high and  a smile, why not go forward the same way. So I picked myself up with a renewed spark of inner power and strength.

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall." Nelson Mandela.

Time the soothsayer of life

Life and time are the world's best teachers. Life teaches us the value of time and time teaches us the value of life.


Time is life. It is time that teaches you what life is. The times you should have spent for important things when you were slogging beyond your capacity takes over your health and then it is gone forever. There are times you could have spent in learning more constructive things, but did not when you needed to know, is felt when that time is lost forever. There are times when you should have spent time giving importance to a  relationship that counts in life, the consequences of which you lose it, get hurt and struggle to bear the loss of it. You sometimes give time to all except the ones who genuinely need it and end up losing what is most important to you. Longing for the lost  time, love, care, affection, is as futile as searching for the sun after sunset.  Time lost is life lost. Life is made up of time.

It takes a lifetime to earn love, affection, respect, honesty, passion and in split seconds all can be lost. Start pursuing what you are passionate about, when you find little time for it.  What you do is important, because you are exchanging your life for it. Do it with earnest and you will be rewarded, little efforts taken daily pays off, in the course of time. How often you rush through things without giving it time that you  miss the beauty and wonder of a moment.  Time never returns. 

The most remarkable aspect of time and life is its preciousness. Its value no one can fathom and its power is inestimable, the potential of which you can never calculate. A fraction of a second can make a difference between life and death; the depth of a relationship,  and for something  to slip away to nothingness. As you go through the journey of life, you realize that if there is anything in this world that can never come back it is time, words uttered and life. Once time and life  crosses into the threshold of the past, it can never return to the present and this is the basic truth of life itself. 

The passing of time escapes no one in this universe. Getting the most of each day, living life as it comes, helps you understand the importance of every moment in life.  Time  and life moves at its own pace,  without waiting for anyone nor allowing to be commanded, analysed or criticized.  Though all are conscious of the passing time and life, its importance, it is rarely valued till it is lost forever. Some say time is money. It is more precious than money because lost money can be made up later, but a moment lost  is lost forever.  Every breath and every second is to be valued. Nobody can escape the hold of time.  Your life and identity through time can never be answered, only time will show the truth. What was yesterday is not today. What is today, may not be tomorrow. Yesterday is gone, today is and tomorrow is yet to come. It exists always. 

There is a time and season for everything in life. One cannot grow anything in a moment  nor can a baby become an adult in a minute. Everything in life has its own time. Time is a medicine and healer they say,  time is also a wise counselor of life. The passage of time allows growth and this growth gives lessons and experiences. Some always complain that there is no time to do anything. Time and life is fleeting. Only time can show you the fruits of your efforts and the truth of your life or anything connected to your life. In fact life and time goes on side by side and you can never predict time or your life. 

Your life starts from the time you are born, unaware of the world- happy, tension free and then as time passes you realize what life is, adapt to learn new things,   realize the value of people who love and care, the preciousness of life;  you make mistakes and try to learn from them.  As time passes, you realize the real challenges of life and that life doesn't remain the same always. With the threat of the core of life, you realize the real value of time and life; you find new meaning in life and to count the little blessings time brings you. The beauty of life is you hope for the best but  it is the unexpected that happen and time gives you important lessons of life that always take you unawares. 

Time gives you gifts of precious memories, that you love to think of as flashback scenes of life. Life is a beautiful journey, even if it is adversities visiting you often. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present, ” as this quote says, you can never predict your future, but you can make use of the present. The beauty of life is to live life as it comes, enjoy every moment because life and moments that has passed can never come back.