The Empty Nest

"You know your children have grown up when they stop asking where they have come from and refuse to tell you where they are going." 

Children have to spread their wings to new horizons, when their future calls for it. Every parent goes through the loneliness of having just the four walls around them to give them company. The role of the parents change, diminish and unfold.  I believe in one simple philosophy -fill in what's  empty. Do what makes you happy. Learn, what you always wanted to do. 


The phase of an empty nest continues till the parents re-feather. It is a profound shift from the rigorous daily activities to a time of reflection  reorientation, capturing the realities of emotions, the life changes that sets in gradually and sometimes rediscovering all your old  creative talents.
Some parents, find it very difficult to adjust to the empty nest. It is no use brooding over it and making life miserable.Yes we do feel the void. Suddenly when all left today, I was wondering what I would do. But I decided to do something for someone. So  after long gap in my teaching, decided to go hunting for cursive writing books to help a little one. I know that would keep me busy for a day or two, to get down to my old routine of life.


This transition is inevitable.... I have always learnt to accept the inevitable. An empty nest need not be an emptiness of life. Sometimes it comes with its own joy. It is a transitional phase that is open to growth and self discovery. It is also redefining yourself in a new role and celebrating the new joys. My idea of being a parent is, be available whenever they want you, give them a moral support and always be a tower of strength.

Fulfillment of womanhood.

A woman is a daughter, sister, wife, mother and grandmother. It is a remarkable blessing to be born as a daughter. The happiest moment of a woman's life is to become a mother. A moment of pride for any woman. A fruitful moment for all the pain that she goes through. A time to bask in the glory of motherhood, after all the small sacrifices and pains that she went through. She finds happiness in watching the growth of the baby, in all walks of life. She finds immense joy in their achievements, gives unconditional support in their little fears and failures. A tower of strength to the family, whatever happens. A store house of moral support.

Another moment of pride and joy is when her children makes her a grandmother. It is a walk down the memory lane, for her to cherish the memories of her motherhood. A bundle of joy to enjoy the last stages of life, just watching them grow up, pampering them and their little fancies, telling them stories, satisfying their inquiries and playing with them. Putting them to sleep, singing the same lullabies that was sung years back to make her children sleep. It is also a journey down the memory lane, when the child she held so close to her heart, becomes a parent. A realization of how time fled past her very eyes, sometimes watching their little mischief and pranks. Sometimes missing out on those important times of life. But it is a time to reminisce of those bygone days.

In the end, it is a fulfillment of her womanhood. It is a completion of the beautiful cycle of life. A moment that gives immense joy, to hold that bundle of joy, that makes her life complete.

An irreplaceable Spark

All of us have an inner strength, a fire that keeps us going. Sometimes the challenges in our life, reduces that fire and almost goes out. But something or someone comes along and that irreplaceable spark ignites it again into a flame that keeps the fire burning in us. For me that inner strength and courage came initially from my father, who always encouraged me to do things I felt, that I couldn't do. I am reminded of how a mother bird pushes the small one's out of the nest to make them use their wings to fly.
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.” 
 And they came.
 And he pushed them. 
 And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire,   1880-1918

My fight with my life started at the age of three, when I got a lump on my thighs. My parents were told that I would have to be operated upon, but chances were high that I would end up a cripple. May be God's miracle, the lump disappeared the day before the surgery. I was not able to walk due to my pain, but my brother who was admitted with typhoid, used to drag me along with him. With the pain I used to run with him. From then I always used to get pain on my left leg. Me being me, used to take part in all extra curricular activities, encouraged by my dad. Night I used to cry of pain, but there started my fight in life.

During my school days, I used to end up being the only one getting all the seasonal illnesses. May be God knew I was to be strong at that age to cope up and fight with all the challenges that was meant to come my way. My dad always used to tell me that running way from life was cowardice. He always told me to face and fight it out. At that time I used to wonder why dad is only telling me all this. Today when I look back, I feel may be he had the intuition of what was in store for me.

My life has been a winding path with lots of challenges. When my twins were born, I came out of the hospital, not even sure if I would get them alive as they were 6 weeks premature. I came home, but I got my kids back only after a month. Being in the neo natal ward, abroad I couldn't even go and see them daily. Always prayed and hoped for the best. There started my test of life, they would fall sick always and I would be running with them to the doctor. Never have I cursed God for anything. Almost for five years, I was in and out of the hospital with my twins. Today, I thank God that they are as healthy as any other person of their age.

They say life is a bed of roses, it is because, if roses are there thorns too are there. I started enjoying the thorns too. The challenges made me strong and what I am today. My mother too has always been a strong person. She taught me to have patience and be strong, whatever happens. I learnt to accept the inevitable, from her. Seeing her strength, when we lost dad, and then later my eldest sister and my second brother.

Today, my journey through cancer has taught me to enjoy life as it comes. Last two years has been the most painful one, but that pain has been sweet pain to me, as I feel I am alive due to that pain. I feel I have fallen in love with pain. If there is no pain, I ask myself, " Am I okay?" The three surgeries, taught me not to take life for granted. I gather my strength from these and every visit to the doctor or scan centers became a new experience for me. I learn something new every time. 

There has not been a day, these last two years, where I have had a pain free day. Something crops up or the same old pain nags me. My doctors say," You have to live with the pain." So I got used to it. That is why I say, "I am in love with pain." Though pain sometimes gives me sleepless nights, I am used to it. The never give up attitude my dad taught me, keeps me going. Yes there are times, when you feel that it is too much to tolerate. But the fighter in me swashes those feelings, to keep up that irreplaceable spark burning.

I would like to always be a born fighter, a brave heart who can inspire others to fight life's battles with a smile.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."