All of us have an inner strength, a fire that keeps us going. Sometimes the challenges in our life, reduces that fire and almost goes out. But something or someone comes along and that irreplaceable spark ignites it again into a flame that keeps the fire burning in us. For me that inner strength and courage came initially from my father, who always encouraged me to do things I felt, that I couldn't do. I am reminded of how a mother bird pushes the small one's out of the nest to make them use their wings to fly.
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
My fight with my life started at the age of three, when I got a lump on my thighs. My parents were told that I would have to be operated upon, but chances were high that I would end up a cripple. May be God's miracle, the lump disappeared the day before the surgery. I was not able to walk due to my pain, but my brother who was admitted with typhoid, used to drag me along with him. With the pain I used to run with him. From then I always used to get pain on my left leg. Me being me, used to take part in all extra curricular activities, encouraged by my dad. Night I used to cry of pain, but there started my fight in life.
During my school days, I used to end up being the only one getting all the seasonal illnesses. May be God knew I was to be strong at that age to cope up and fight with all the challenges that was meant to come my way. My dad always used to tell me that running way from life was cowardice. He always told me to face and fight it out. At that time I used to wonder why dad is only telling me all this. Today when I look back, I feel may be he had the intuition of what was in store for me.
My life has been a winding path with lots of challenges. When my twins were born, I came out of the hospital, not even sure if I would get them alive as they were 6 weeks premature. I came home, but I got my kids back only after a month. Being in the neo natal ward, abroad I couldn't even go and see them daily. Always prayed and hoped for the best. There started my test of life, they would fall sick always and I would be running with them to the doctor. Never have I cursed God for anything. Almost for five years, I was in and out of the hospital with my twins. Today, I thank God that they are as healthy as any other person of their age.
They say life is a bed of roses, it is because, if roses are there thorns too are there. I started enjoying the thorns too. The challenges made me strong and what I am today. My mother too has always been a strong person. She taught me to have patience and be strong, whatever happens. I learnt to accept the inevitable, from her. Seeing her strength, when we lost dad, and then later my eldest sister and my second brother.
Today, my journey through cancer has taught me to enjoy life as it comes. Last two years has been the most painful one, but that pain has been sweet pain to me, as I feel I am alive due to that pain. I feel I have fallen in love with pain. If there is no pain, I ask myself, " Am I okay?" The three surgeries, taught me not to take life for granted. I gather my strength from these and every visit to the doctor or scan centers became a new experience for me. I learn something new every time.
There has not been a day, these last two years, where I have had a pain free day. Something crops up or the same old pain nags me. My doctors say," You have to live with the pain." So I got used to it. That is why I say, "I am in love with pain." Though pain sometimes gives me sleepless nights, I am used to it. The never give up attitude my dad taught me, keeps me going. Yes there are times, when you feel that it is too much to tolerate. But the fighter in me swashes those feelings, to keep up that irreplaceable spark burning.
I would like to always be a born fighter, a brave heart who can inspire others to fight life's battles with a smile.
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
My fight with my life started at the age of three, when I got a lump on my thighs. My parents were told that I would have to be operated upon, but chances were high that I would end up a cripple. May be God's miracle, the lump disappeared the day before the surgery. I was not able to walk due to my pain, but my brother who was admitted with typhoid, used to drag me along with him. With the pain I used to run with him. From then I always used to get pain on my left leg. Me being me, used to take part in all extra curricular activities, encouraged by my dad. Night I used to cry of pain, but there started my fight in life.
During my school days, I used to end up being the only one getting all the seasonal illnesses. May be God knew I was to be strong at that age to cope up and fight with all the challenges that was meant to come my way. My dad always used to tell me that running way from life was cowardice. He always told me to face and fight it out. At that time I used to wonder why dad is only telling me all this. Today when I look back, I feel may be he had the intuition of what was in store for me.
My life has been a winding path with lots of challenges. When my twins were born, I came out of the hospital, not even sure if I would get them alive as they were 6 weeks premature. I came home, but I got my kids back only after a month. Being in the neo natal ward, abroad I couldn't even go and see them daily. Always prayed and hoped for the best. There started my test of life, they would fall sick always and I would be running with them to the doctor. Never have I cursed God for anything. Almost for five years, I was in and out of the hospital with my twins. Today, I thank God that they are as healthy as any other person of their age.
They say life is a bed of roses, it is because, if roses are there thorns too are there. I started enjoying the thorns too. The challenges made me strong and what I am today. My mother too has always been a strong person. She taught me to have patience and be strong, whatever happens. I learnt to accept the inevitable, from her. Seeing her strength, when we lost dad, and then later my eldest sister and my second brother.
Today, my journey through cancer has taught me to enjoy life as it comes. Last two years has been the most painful one, but that pain has been sweet pain to me, as I feel I am alive due to that pain. I feel I have fallen in love with pain. If there is no pain, I ask myself, " Am I okay?" The three surgeries, taught me not to take life for granted. I gather my strength from these and every visit to the doctor or scan centers became a new experience for me. I learn something new every time.
There has not been a day, these last two years, where I have had a pain free day. Something crops up or the same old pain nags me. My doctors say," You have to live with the pain." So I got used to it. That is why I say, "I am in love with pain." Though pain sometimes gives me sleepless nights, I am used to it. The never give up attitude my dad taught me, keeps me going. Yes there are times, when you feel that it is too much to tolerate. But the fighter in me swashes those feelings, to keep up that irreplaceable spark burning.
I would like to always be a born fighter, a brave heart who can inspire others to fight life's battles with a smile.
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."
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