It was a Sunday and we were busy with the wedding preparation of my son. In the evening we were on our way to Egmore to invite my hubby's friend for the wedding. We got into the car and not even reached half way, suddenly I started getting a dull pain in the center of my head. I usually got that pain, when my BP was high. After sometime I started sweating profusely and felt uneasy. For sometime I was wondering as to why I started sweating like that. I asked my son to put off the AC and open the car glass, so that I could get some fresh air.
My hubby and son sensed that something was wrong and told me that we would go to the hospital, but I insisted on going to his friend's house. I was still sweating and by the time we reached his friend's house I started getting a choking sensation in my throat and a pain on one side of my face. I could not even talk to his friend and wife.
By then I got worried as it was a new experience for me, and my son's wedding was something all of us were looking forward to. I called my family doctor and told her about my plight. She asked me to go the hospital and get the BP checked and also take an ECG. I started feeling as if something heavy was on my chest.
We reached the hospital, and the duty doctor checked the BP and found it to be high. My doctor spoke to the duty doctor and asked her to get an ECG taken and they found changes in the ECG. The doctor asked for my previous ECG's. My son brought my medical files bag and they found changes in the ECG which was not seen in my previous ECG's and I landed in the ICU for observation.The question that lingered in everyone's mind was, why ICU when the doctor said that there's nothing alarming. It is still a question mark as to why I experienced such profuse sweating and a constriction in my chest. My friend even questioned the cardiologist.
Lying down in the ICU I was thinking, of my life, and to what an extent it was uncertain.Those who see the next morning are so lucky.I started thinking of all the little blessings we fail to count in our life.Cancer had already changed my outlook towards life. But my one day in the ICU was a real introspection of my life.
I realized we have just one life. How futile it is to spend it in finding fault, back biting and having hatred in our mind. I realized with a pain that, though I was strong in my mind, I was a weakling where my heart was concerned.I decided to find happiness in making others happy. I decided to live with a positive attitude, a clear mind and a loving, caring and sharing heart. I wanted to live a life which had no regrets.
If something was to happen to me the next day, I did not want to have any regrets. I wanted my family to be proud of me. I had always been a strong and independent person. Only a person whose life had been threatened would understand my feelings and sentiments.
I believe in guarding angels. They believe in you and they are forever by your side. And all our tomorrow's are in the seeds that we plant today. Life is a garden made richer by those who share our path.
I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. John Burroughs
