Life with Cancer

As the saying goes"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going". Life after the cancer treatment has not been an easy one both physically and psychologically. But If there is a will to survive, then your battle is won. It is what every patient craves for, to know that they have clinically defeated their cancer and believe that it is behind them and incapable of making another assault. They like to feel healthy, happy and  unburdened once more. To be positive that  there will always be a will to never give up on life.

        My Chemotherapy and  radiations were over by first week of November, 2011. Due to chemo and radiations my Hemoglobin level came down to 7. I was asked to go in for blood transfusion. Both  of us were paranoid with the word blood transfusion. My hubby and kids were B+ and I did not have any known people with O+ blood. So we decided not to go in for it. I was determined to increase it with my food intake. When I went for my check up to my oncologist, I was happy to note that it had increased to 8. My Oncologist  examined me and jotted down something in his prescription. He just told me to give my blood for testing and added that if there is something alarming, he would call me.

 I completely forgot about it as he had not called me. Meanwhile I went for a review with my surgeon. He checked the stitches and   asked me for my oncologist's prescription. He went through that and told me that there was a nodule growing  at  one end of the line of stitches. He called up the pathologist and took an appointment for me and sent me to the lab reminding me to see him the next day. I went to the pathologist, but the operated area was numb and I didn't feel any pain when she did the needle biopsy. She told me that she felt that it was nothing to worry.

      The next day I went to the surgeon, he again examined me and then called the pathologist. She said it was not malignant. He sent me off asking me to come after a month. I went and met my oncologist too. My check ups with him was monthly. The next month when I went for check up, he found a lump in my left breast. He felt it was better to take a mammogram. Next day I went for the mammogram and I got the result.  

Meanwhile I went for my review with the surgeon and I showed him the mammogram. He told me to go for a MRI scan of my left breast. We went to the scan center and waited. My turn came after an hour. I went inside and put on their long robe, the nurse fixed an IV in my vein and asked me to wait. Then I was called in. When I went in they asked me to lie down on my stomach and leave my breast inside a cup kind of thing. The nurse put cotton in my ears, saying that was for not hearing the different kind of sounds. Then she pushed me into a dome kind of thing, with only my head out. They started the scanning; in spite of the cotton the sounds were so loud and deafening. Lying down there, I heard so many types of sounds, which I have never heard before. I laughed to myself, thinking this too may be a type of music. When it got over I was so relieved and the sounds were still ringing in my ears. They asked us to go the next day for the report.

The next day we collected the report and went to the surgeon. He went through the scan and report; and told that I would have to undergo an ultra sound guided needle biopsy, as the lump was little deep inside the breast. My hubby was a little worried. But I was prepared for anything. The next day I went for the needle biopsy, the pathologist did it guided by the ultrasound. We waited there for the report and it said that it was a benign lump. I took it to the surgeon and he told me that there was nothing to worry. I asked him to remove the breast, but he said until a malignancy was found it cannot be removed. I went to my oncologist; he told me that we would keep a watch over the lump to see if it was growing. 

        The chemotherapy aggravated many other problems that I already had.  The piles problem which never gave me any problem as long as I was careful with my diet, started being erratic. I did not know what triggered the bleeding of my piles. My oncologist advised me to see what caused it and stop eating those things.  Life sometimes bring you to such a state, that you don't know what to do. Then I started experimenting with my diet, a new experience, and started avoiding all that irritated the piles. It was a trial and error method of living. 

     My heart too started playing up. Sometimes it started racing. Sometimes when I went to bed, the palpitation was so bad I could never sleep. Whenever I went to the Cardiologist, he advised me not to be stressed. In spite of my medicines, I used to have palpitation. I thought that too must be due to my chemo medicines. An ultra sound of the abdomen  had shown cyst in my kidney and it was enlarged too. A fatty liver and that too an enlarged one.  Still I feel I am more blessed than many others. 

  I really learnt to live with all my health problems with a smile. It never bothered me that something was always troubling me. I was advised not to exert my right hand too much or carry anything heavy with that hand as the lymph nodes had been removed. I had to follow his advice or the hand would become fatter that the other. I had to do exercise with that hand daily. The area of surgery too pained a lot and the doctor had warned me that it may last for 3 to 4 years.

  Today I have learned to live with the pain.  It has become part and parcel of my life.  I have always been an independent woman, a quality instilled by my hubby from the time we got married. Today I am dependent  on  others as I am not allowed to ride the two wheeler, still I don’t trouble anyone for my shopping or my check ups, except the visit to the oncologist. I go on my own. That way I feel fit and healthy.

   Whatever illness you have, first you need a strong will to fight it out. Only then even the doctor’s prescription will work. When the time comes for you to go, nothing can be done. But that is not in our hands. Till then never ever give up. Face it with a strong will and fight it out.