"Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star, does not change his mind.." Leonardo da Vinci.
The heading might make one thing that I have achieved something great. But for me, it is indeed an achievement. Each time I enter the operation theater and come out with the smile, still on my face, that is an achievement for me.
I had my first surgery, in December, 1995 ...removal of my uterus along with my ovaries. That time I was never worried or scared of the surgery, only thing that had worried me that time was, the doubt doctors had of cancer. May be I was always bold enough to face anything in life. But God saved me that time.
The next surgery was my mastectomy in May, 2011. With the growing age and many health problems in my list, I had to take a fitness from my cardiologist. I did come out of the surgery with a smile, though I was in pain......even after losing a feminine part of me. I realized that I have to live accepting the truth and pain. I was willing to face it as I wanted my near and dear ones to be smiling always. After all the trauma of chemotherapy and radiation, when I was at ease with a sigh of relief, came another obstacle.
Another lump was found in the same place..which the PET scan showed as a recurrence. The surgeon very humorously told me, "So you have decided to come under my knife once again." I just smiled. After all the surgeries, I felt it was an achievement for me, a feather in my cap. Not because it is anything to be proud of, but I was bold enough to go through it and come out with a smile. My cardiologist came and patted me and said, "So, you withstood this surgery too."
Now, let me come to the point. I had a small bluish soft lump on my left knee. There was no pain, and more cause for unwanted thoughts. It was the year, my sister lost her battle against cancer. A pathologist friend assured me that it was just a bulged varicose vein. So I completely forgot about it. In 2002, we had a lot of preparations to make in school, as it was the centenary celebrations. It started troubling me with a lot of pain. It had bulged out and become like a soft cyst with fluid in it. I met my family doctor and she prescribed some medicines, with a warning that I should be careful or it may burst. I was advised to wear stockings which help varicose veins. With medicines and the stocking, the pain subsided to a great extent.
Later on my family doctor's advice I met a cardio vascular surgeon and I was asked to do a Doppler test of my left leg. When the pain became a constant companion, I decided to do the test. If was after that test I came to know, it was a sebaceous cyst with a varicose vein. That doctor too advised me to wear the stockings.
After my cancer diagnosis, when my chemotherapy started a lot of problems surfaced again. The pain in the cyst became very bad. I used to take a course of the medicines, my cardio vascular surgeon had prescribed. It would subside then , but resurfaced again after a little while. In between these problems, I landed in the ICU, one day. The reason for that is still a big question mark for me. My oncologist advised me not to have those medicines after that.
After my lumpectomy on October 17th, I asked my surgeon about the cyst, when I went for a review. He told me that he wouldn't do anything until my blood count and hemoglobin count improved. So I was forced to go around with it. In January, 2013 the pain became quite unbearable. I used to get swelling on my knee and pain behind my knee too. The cyst too became bigger. Towards end of March, I went back to the surgeon for a review of my lumpectomy. I showed him the cyst, he said it was infected. He prescribed antibiotics for a week and asked me to see him after ten days. After ten days I went to him. He fixed the surgery for the 6th of April, in the evening at 4 pm. He told me that I need not get admitted.
On April 6th, I was in the hospital accompanied by my hubby & sons. Doctor called into the operation theater around 5 pm He gave me a local anesthesia. My eyes were covered with a cloth. I could feel the doctor cutting out the cyst and also putting sutures. He told me that, it need not be sent for biopsy. It took around twenty minutes. The nurse put a dressing bandage over it and I was asked to wait for a few minutes. I walked out of the operation theater, limping. That was the third surgery in 22 months. Hoping that a cyst would not reappear anywhere else. Yesterday the sutures were removed. My hubby and kids make fun of me saying, It has become a habit for me to walk into the operation theater.
To undergo any surgery and come out of it with a beating heart and a smile, I feel is an achievement. That is why I said that it is another feather in my cap. Some say that I get bolder, each time I walk into the operation theater. It is quiet painful......
"Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes." Buddha.
The heading might make one thing that I have achieved something great. But for me, it is indeed an achievement. Each time I enter the operation theater and come out with the smile, still on my face, that is an achievement for me.
I had my first surgery, in December, 1995 ...removal of my uterus along with my ovaries. That time I was never worried or scared of the surgery, only thing that had worried me that time was, the doubt doctors had of cancer. May be I was always bold enough to face anything in life. But God saved me that time.
The next surgery was my mastectomy in May, 2011. With the growing age and many health problems in my list, I had to take a fitness from my cardiologist. I did come out of the surgery with a smile, though I was in pain......even after losing a feminine part of me. I realized that I have to live accepting the truth and pain. I was willing to face it as I wanted my near and dear ones to be smiling always. After all the trauma of chemotherapy and radiation, when I was at ease with a sigh of relief, came another obstacle.
Another lump was found in the same place..which the PET scan showed as a recurrence. The surgeon very humorously told me, "So you have decided to come under my knife once again." I just smiled. After all the surgeries, I felt it was an achievement for me, a feather in my cap. Not because it is anything to be proud of, but I was bold enough to go through it and come out with a smile. My cardiologist came and patted me and said, "So, you withstood this surgery too."
Now, let me come to the point. I had a small bluish soft lump on my left knee. There was no pain, and more cause for unwanted thoughts. It was the year, my sister lost her battle against cancer. A pathologist friend assured me that it was just a bulged varicose vein. So I completely forgot about it. In 2002, we had a lot of preparations to make in school, as it was the centenary celebrations. It started troubling me with a lot of pain. It had bulged out and become like a soft cyst with fluid in it. I met my family doctor and she prescribed some medicines, with a warning that I should be careful or it may burst. I was advised to wear stockings which help varicose veins. With medicines and the stocking, the pain subsided to a great extent.
Later on my family doctor's advice I met a cardio vascular surgeon and I was asked to do a Doppler test of my left leg. When the pain became a constant companion, I decided to do the test. If was after that test I came to know, it was a sebaceous cyst with a varicose vein. That doctor too advised me to wear the stockings.
After my cancer diagnosis, when my chemotherapy started a lot of problems surfaced again. The pain in the cyst became very bad. I used to take a course of the medicines, my cardio vascular surgeon had prescribed. It would subside then , but resurfaced again after a little while. In between these problems, I landed in the ICU, one day. The reason for that is still a big question mark for me. My oncologist advised me not to have those medicines after that.
After my lumpectomy on October 17th, I asked my surgeon about the cyst, when I went for a review. He told me that he wouldn't do anything until my blood count and hemoglobin count improved. So I was forced to go around with it. In January, 2013 the pain became quite unbearable. I used to get swelling on my knee and pain behind my knee too. The cyst too became bigger. Towards end of March, I went back to the surgeon for a review of my lumpectomy. I showed him the cyst, he said it was infected. He prescribed antibiotics for a week and asked me to see him after ten days. After ten days I went to him. He fixed the surgery for the 6th of April, in the evening at 4 pm. He told me that I need not get admitted.
On April 6th, I was in the hospital accompanied by my hubby & sons. Doctor called into the operation theater around 5 pm He gave me a local anesthesia. My eyes were covered with a cloth. I could feel the doctor cutting out the cyst and also putting sutures. He told me that, it need not be sent for biopsy. It took around twenty minutes. The nurse put a dressing bandage over it and I was asked to wait for a few minutes. I walked out of the operation theater, limping. That was the third surgery in 22 months. Hoping that a cyst would not reappear anywhere else. Yesterday the sutures were removed. My hubby and kids make fun of me saying, It has become a habit for me to walk into the operation theater.
To undergo any surgery and come out of it with a beating heart and a smile, I feel is an achievement. That is why I said that it is another feather in my cap. Some say that I get bolder, each time I walk into the operation theater. It is quiet painful......
"Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes." Buddha.
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