Follow

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

A bare Tree.

"Bare trees stand proudly
Knowing that spring will return
To clothe them in green.
Tanja Cilia.

The silhouette of the bare tree, bereft of even its branches, on the bridge over Adyar river, always caught my attention. I used to always observe that tree, whenever I passed that way. I really  used to admire that small tree. It stood tall and strong, knowing that spring might not clothe it in green, but still majestic and useful. It may have used up all its energy and bared itself knowing that it was still full of beauty.

Another tree that makes me observe it in awe is a tree in my compound and neighborhood. A deciduous evergreen tree, that is most beautiful with its green leaves and red blossoms, its branches spread wide, forming an umbrella like canopy. Its leaves fall and the beautiful tree bares itself, with only its fruit hanging. Trees have been a companion from my childhood, but today when cancer robbed me of my feminine parts, I admire a bare tree and understand the significance of it. It tells me its story of survival against tough weather and the changing seasons. They wait for the spring to fill them with green foliage.

"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder," a quote I love, even the barren tree looks as beautiful as when it is lush green. A different kind of beauty that is elegant yet very strong. Though they look thin and frail, they bounce back to life when spring comes. What makes the barrenness beautiful?  May be watching the leaves and flowers slide down, in the wind to its bower to make a carpet below or the warmth and happiness they give.

I sometimes think of my journey through cancer and the treatment, when I see these bare trees. The barrenness, reminds me of my hair loss and shaving of my head, still feeling beautiful and strong as ever. It is something that takes away a lot, but also a giver of life's essence and life itself. Loss of hair never meant anything to me, because I knew like the tree, I too would get back my hair once the chemotherapy is over. It was neither my actual identity nor a loss. It is important how you fight out and live your life to its fullest.

Like a bare tree returning to its greenery in spring, I too  bounced back in spite of my losses. Chemo brought out the real me back, the nature lover in me, for me it was becoming one with the beauty of nature and its wonders. The bald head and barrenness proves one beautiful thing in life, its essence that life goes on and on and I keep fighting for my life. The buds of spring entered my life in all its splendor and beauty. I learnt that bare trees represent beauty and life. Life goes on as it ever does. I got back the me, that loved everything in nature, one who in the rat race of life, had no time to stop and enjoy beauty of nature that I used to love and the trees I used to adore in my childhood.

It was a magical awakening and getting back the lost me. Trauma of cancer drains you off emotionally, mentally and physically, if you let it victimize you. Writing about my thoughts and feelings of that period was a blessing, a way of expressive writing, of all my emotions that helped me to stand up tall. It was a way of challenging me. The roots of beauty and the marvels of passion etched a lot of lines in the core of my soul, through the barrenness. Inside me is still the beauty of the mist of love, with words of silence and rain, the beauty of the beating heart of the sky, magical falling leaves and flowers dancing as they fall, passing through passion of fire, pain and love, with the strength of a tree.

"A tree bereft  of,
Its branches and leaves,
That still stands tall,
Instills hope and inspires.

It stirs my heart and soul,
With an unfeigned love,
and undying passion,
Of a treasure in me.

It reminds me of beauty,
In the twinkling eyes,
To bloom like a bud,
And tantalize my soul.

It ignites a flame,
In my awakened heart,
To keep passionate love,
Fiercely burning forever.


No comments: