My forgotten heartbeats.

Something as simple as sitting in my balcony watching my winged friends gives me a tranquil inspiration. To watch the birds and be one with them, it is important to get in touch with silence. Early in the morning, they wake me up with their chirping. I sit in my balcony sipping my coffee or tea, and watch them flit from tree to tree, or chase one another playfully in the sky. It does something magical to my feeling and emotions. I feel they know me and understand my feeling and trauma. 

 Every season brings some new birds, my winged companions. Every season there is something new that allure bird lovers. They always bring in lot of surprises. They flit around from branch to branch, but they fill my heart with a rare kind of joy. I love to watch them pruning their feathers so patiently, that I just keep gazing at them. I think that is the time they sit for long on the branches they are perched. It is believed that a bird's attitude takes it a long way.

My balcony is my abode of peace where I re-live my magical momens. I watch the birds, the trees and its blossoms and the vast expanse of the sky that takes me to a realm of solitude. Nature is a place e where it is easy to focus on life. Itis a paradise I escape to put things in perspective. It includes both the physical and abstract things too for me. A tree and everything about it is special and evolves life. It gives me a sense of belonging like nothing else does. They bring back life in my heart and soul.

Winged companions tweet,

the most beautiful melody,

of the song in my soul,

in the twilight magical hour.

Unnoticed and always present,

like a gentle heartbeat,

a fragile  throb of life,

That is beyond my realm.

With tiny flapping wings,

stirring my heart into knots,

they chirp joyfully,

leaving a loving sweet ache. 

Silent comfort.

Rain on my pane,

making a mirage of raindrops,

you may drizzle,

come as a downpour,

or take me into a tempest.

Touch me when lonely,

weave into my heart,

dripping with comfort,

soaking the soul,

in your silent ways.

Hold me in your power,

in thunderous passion,

entrench me deeply,

raining on me incessantly,

rejuvenating what lies dormant.

Posted in High on Poems.

Diverse coexistence.

There is a language, a story and mystery in the vast expanse of the sky. 

A beautifully woven tapestry in the sky can narrate a story to you that is an awe inspiring sight. The vast expanse of the sky is a cocktail of the billowing clouds on one side, with a beautiful blue sky just beside it and a sky on fire between ashen skies......saying you look so beautiful today because I am by your side. Suddenly there is a lightening touching somewhere in the deep sea, showing a silvery line striking into the sea. Each day it narrates something different to me. I realized all these coexist and cannot be without the other and that is life in reality. The sky is a healer always. Sometimes gazing at the expanse of the sky I feel that it understands my mind, heart and soul and gives me a spectacular view of colors on one side, white fluffy clouds of the other and heavy ashen clouds; in the same sky. They look so diverse yet united in their movement. 

Watching the skies is always a constant source of fascination. Gazing at the mass of clouds, seeking formations in them is a child like wonder that leaves me awe struck at times. Clouds are found in different sizes, shapes, colors and distinct formations. They are truly magical. Spotting shapes in clouds is a delightful. Sometimes it is a heart, an elephant, a mother and baby; it is always amazing to see the changing formations of clouds in the skies. Every individual views at the patterns in the clouds differently.

Time with nature definitely helps me. Something as simple as sitting in the balcony could give me tranquil peace. Even when I am on the move the sky encourages stillness within. It shows me resilience and acceptance. I would like to always identify myself with my problems, emotions and thoughts; attached to what was and what is. I am not shattered either by the challenges in my life any more than the sky is shattered by the lightening or the thunder; nor get washed away more than the sky is washed away by the rain. The sky is a constant healer. 

"Gazing at the expanse of the sky,

 I sense it  perceives ,

 the language of the heart and soul,

 looking right through me intensely,

 expressions of my mind,

 as the clouds parade across,

 with secrets, truths and a radiant glow."

The dying art of calligraphic writing with a pen.

Gazing at a letter adorned with calligraphic writing, never fails to attract my attention or capture my heart and soul. It is a pouring out of all feelings and emotions onto paper with a pen. Is it a tale of mystery and intrigue or is it just a simple meandering glimpse of life's journey? Writing is on the way to extinction. How many of us still get or write such letters or a holiday card or a greeting card? Not many bother to put pen down their feeling onto paper. Who cares to write any more?  Is writing dying a slow and painful death? The answer would be 'Yes', though to me it still holds a lot of value.

There is more typing and clicking on the keyboard and mouse than writing with a writing instrument. We have moved into an age where the mouse, keyboard, keypads and instant messaging are dearer to us than the nimble pen, causing the slow and painful death of the art of writing. Undoubtedly, we still do "write", but we now "write" with the mouse and keypad. From the beautiful, smooth movement of the once mighty pen, we have moved to embrace the swiftness of the fingers in tapping keys.

 How many pick up the humble pen and paper to write? The joy of writing on a wonderful piece of paper, folding it, putting it in an envelope, applying the stamp and sending the letter is no more a reality, but moved on to typing and sending it to a virtual email address. The world has lost the joys of holding the card or letter, the psychological joy and contentment of touching, turning the pages and holding them.

 

It is believed that we have come to an age of “I click, therefore I am."

Words can evoke myriad emotions,

every word is a heart beat,

that is penned down with ink,

making a page come alive.

Now the pen is dying,

the keyboard types words,

but they are just words,

no life in the flying words.

The inked words can breathe life,

with all the feelings it hold,

sinking into the page,

as it bleeds with passion.

Reviews of my book "When I fell in love with life."

A word of appreciation and feedback of every reader is the reward of a writer. I am thankful to those who wrote a review of my book after reading it. The following are a few links to reviews of my book. Thanks a lot for the feedback.

1. http://ministryofmagik.blogspot.in/2015/10/book-review-when-i-fell-in-love-with.html

2. https://www.facebook.com/salismagazine/posts/962969623749973

http://www.salisonline.in/Blog.aspx?BLOG_ID=510

3. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=702021579928840&id=674315009366164

4. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=700186243445707&id=674315009366164

5. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=700025993461732&id=674315009366164

6. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=693084770822521&id=674315009366164

7. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=962669060460412&set=a.510139199046736.1073741832.100001519825910&type=3

8. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=694758020655196&id=674315009366164
9. https://www.facebook.com/arunm.sivakrishna/posts/10206096290820984
10.https://www.facebook.com/chitrasemail/posts/10153529875553190

Life's inevitable crossroads.

Crossroads in life are inevitable. All face crossroads in life's journey, but when life gives blow time and again; there is a kind of helplessness that takes you to an entirely different crossroad. You have to be emotionally, mentally and physically strong to face the crossroad. When you are dealt with trauma of health hazards, over a period of time you tend to become emotionally and mentally weak and to come out of it takes a lot of time, courage and strength. It is positive thoughts that always give positive outcomes, but if you are facing a negative vibe from somewhere, then the capacity to stay positive doubles.

To have a positive and strong mind, you need to nurture it, anyone can be weary of constant stress, so it is important that you inspire yourself to engender positivity; you family and friends play a major role in this endeavour. The strongest of people are not those who do things for themselves, but ones who know whom to turn to when in need of help. Negative energy snaps you and brings you down completely.

Today standing at a crossroad of my life's journey, I ask myself, “Have I taken care of myself good enough?" Even after having fought the creeping crab twice, if I ask myself "have I learned to pamper myself a little and take care of myself?” it would be doing injustice to me if I said 'yes.' Today, when my mobility is threatened, I realize that I need to take time for myself, doing what I love the most, pampering myself a bit and relaxing to give my mind, body and soul the rest it needs.

Then why am I at the crossroads? I think it is because I am confused how to do it? Then I need to come to terms with my physical, mental and emotional health and find time for myself and take care of my health. There are times I have felt useless and helpless. Why? How? What? These are questions I ask myself. I have to come out of it, finding the inner strength to cope up with all these. Sometimes I feel the four years of my fight and health problems have made me vulnerable and easily open to hurt; sometime I find it difficult as I used to be a very calm and strong person. Where my health is concerned I am still strong enough to face and endure any amount of pains. But the mental and emotional stress; I think my strength has weaned a lot. I do not know if it is due to the health factor or the amount of stress is insurmountable, I think I need to find a way to get out of this crossroad of life as I always do.

Is it my health, my age or some other factor that is the cause, I am yet to find an answer.  Have I stretched myself beyond my capacity? Till I find an answer, I am just trying to find a solution from nature as it always soothes and heals me, giving me the inspiration and strength to go on.

Standing at an inevitable crossroad,

 with a trail of  confusing thoughts,

 heading on a journey of loneliness,

 storm clouds gathered around me.

 Perplexed at the turn of events,

 tired, helpless yet willing to fight,

 the hardest phase of life,

 I stand at a fork gripped with uncertainties.

 Lost somewhere blurred in oblivion,

 reflecting at the grey sky,

 I see an undying fire within me,

 to ignite the irreplaceable spark within me.

Moonbeams of love.

The beauty of the moon casting a silver net over the sea, is a beautiful sight to behold. It makes me gaze at it in awe, for its ageless presence as a muse depicting  life and romance for writers. The sea looks like a crinkling silvery surface when the moonbeams falls on the sea. The moonbeams kiss the sea, leaving ripples on the shore with its silvery shine. The waves clasp one another, rejoicing in the silvery light of the moon that reflect in the sea.

The moon shows the rhythm of time in cycles, determining the capacity for reflecting and adapting to life. The new moon is like infancy, the crescent is youth and adolescence, and full moon maturity of life. The waning is sleep and death. Everything  in nature has a connection to life. The moon shining over the sea is a sight that fills the mind with tranquility.

 The moonbeams kiss the sea,

As the waves clasp one another-

And fling silvered nets,

Over the crinkling sea.

The swells of the tide,

Like emotions on the high,

In shimmering silvery silhouettes-

With splashing waves on a thrill.

Twinkling joy of reflective sparkles,

In the splendor of moon-

Completes an incompleteness,

Of a love so true.

A long forgotten feeling.

The coral jasmine with its beautiful colors and fragrance has always been a part of my life that made me admire it; an imperishable memory in me. I have spent time under this fragrant tree, just gazing at the fallen flowers that make a thick carpet in its bower. It has always stayed in my soul with fond and precious memories. In many ways it is special and I consider it a gift of love, a long forgotten feeling that emerges whenever I see this tree laden with flowers, raindrops or dew drops hanging on the buds and then the fallen flowers.

 It is believed that the fragrance is the feelings of flowers. The coral jasmine does have intense feelings and is capable of evoking intense emotions. It is one of the most fragrant flowers and also known as night jasmine as they bloom at night and fall off to the ground by dawn, wafting the fragrance around and forming a tapestry of white and orange. I love these flowers for the sheer fact that they bloom and fall off in graceful beauty.

The coral jasmine tree is also known as 'The tree of sorrow.' But for me it has been a source of joy and inspiration. 

 You captivated me,

drenched in raindrops

my mind singing in joy,

at the sight of you,

a fragrance around me,

an untold emotion,

deep in my soul.

Blossoms of love,

that never fades,

in ethereal beauty,

of a misty glow,

truly evoking passion,

whispering sweetly at night,

with vivid memory.

 A long forgotten feeling,

of a little girl,

gazing shyly at a tree,

shaking heavy laden branches,

gathering fallen flowers,

a mystery lingers on,

the fragile coral jasmine.

Turbulence in a bond.

Clouds are believed to be representation of very powerful emotions with the ability to create or destroy. To see and contemplate the cloud is to learn about self just as it is in all the elements of nature. It can be transition and transformation.

 With intermittent rains and the change of sky from grey to sensuous blue has been a treat to watch. The sky is filled with while fluffy clouds that tempt you like cotton candy and then suddenly they get filled with grey clouds chasing the white clouds or different parts of the expanse of the sky is so different showing that all can coexist despite the great differences.

 As I watched the sky with awe, I found two grey clouds moving with a comfortable space among them. They kept moving in the sky, making me think of the day to day relationships of life.  The movement went on for quite a distance, till suddenly the space started reducing among the clouds and suddenly the distance among then became nil. Just then there was a lightening and a thunderous clap in the sky, make me ponder over it.

 I realized how every bond of life is so similar to what I had witnessed. As long as there is a comfortable space among, it grows and foster's the bond making it stronger. But as the spaces reduce the friction starts that destroy it. I remembered Kahlil Gibran's quote, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance among you. Love each other but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” I realized how true it is. It was indeed a powerful presentation of a bond and the emotions that go with it.

The passion of a soul.

The bilateral mastectomies of a woman can leave her with devastating emotional scars even after she survives all her ordeals. The physical distress surmounts the emotions distress, though it depends on every individual to come out of it. She feels completely disfigured with a diminished sense of femininity. There is no magic cure for it either physically or psychologically, it has to heal from deep within the soul. It is irrespective what age the woman really undergoes the trauma, it takes great strength to regain her confidence, inner strength and the spark of life. It is the most unexpected challenge on the journey through breast cancer, wherein the breast has a hypnotic effect on a woman's figure with womanly curves being the muse even for her life partner.

Do people really understand this trauma and mental anguish that a woman really goes through after a bilateral mastectomy? Even if a woman knows it's the right thing, agreeing to a mastectomy as part of breast cancer treatment can be a difficult choice to make. Over a time though a female body is 'stretched, pushed, squeezed and contorted in various ways, the obsession for the breast with beauty is seemingly more amplified now. The cancer diagnosis and bilateral mastectomy can be very terrifying, with painful scars that sting the soul, is very difficult to accept for many. It calls for sheer grit and will power to overcome all these emotional stress and finally emerge with a rare inner beauty and confidence with a smile on the face and bounce in the step.

There is in fact no age for romance and passion. Even after all these emotional stress and painful trauma, the passion and romance never dies down. If it dies down then there is no life in you. Passion is the fire that keeps you going through all the challenges. You need inner strength to retrieve your self-esteem and how you look at yourself as a woman.

Although a double mastectomy can change your feelings about yourself and your body, it's important to remember that you're worthy of love and attention — both from yourself and others. By staying positive and surrounding yourself with a good support system, you can go through anything in life with your self-esteem intact.

The artistic paintbrush of nature.

The most beautiful artistic creation of nature is a beautiful rainbow, that she paints for us in the sky. It is a truly mesmerizing, enchanting and breathtaking beauty that is untouchable in distance, but one that comes directly from the palette of nature's paintbrush. Rainbow is a spectacular creation in which all the five elements of nature is involved,  one that appears after a rainstorm, restoring and cleansing the turbulent storms of the earth and the soul, a kind of calmness after all the uncertainties and pains.

Though it is a meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection, refraction and dispersion of light in water droplets resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky, it is a spectacular sight to behold. A double rainbow is a bonus and a hope of restoration.  In a double rainbow, a second arc is seen outside the primary arc, and has the order of its colors reversed, with red on the inner side of the arc. 

I love rainbows and its beauty. But a magnificent double rainbow was something I don't remember witnessing at all. I felt it was a hope for transformation of my life. It was worth stopping by to admire the beauty of a magical creation. A double rainbow gracing the sky of Chennai was something spectacular and a rare sight. It was indeed a magical experience that touched the heart and soul directly. It filled me with an awe and energy of love with a hopeful healing. It brought me a promise that all pains would pass, strengthening the vision of life. It was a sign of new beginnings and joy.

I find a rainbow, an extraordinary sign of fulfilling my heart's desire. To me it was a magical enchantment that filled me with a childlike wonderment and joy. It was an inspiring sight  to strongly hold on to hope, to believe without a shadow of doubt that even when everything falls  in pieces around me and inside me; I had to be strong enough to face my pains head on. A double rainbow to me was a sight of believing in the miracles and magic of life's moments and to trust my vibes.

The face of being faceless.

When you look at life's journey and the chain of events, a story begins when each is responsible for the ones caused and the next one. It may be tough and ugly at times, but the journey and the outcome is what matters in the end.

It may be an ironic truth that a man is sometimes rendered faceless by others.  He may have become a 'no one’, an entirely different person. Who is the cause? It is a big question mark that needs to be introspected. For some it may be a mission. For some it may have been forced upon. Whatsoever the reason, it becomes a painful and transforming one, knowing who is who in the end.

The act of being faceless may be due to a deep question asked by somebody. It may be the vulnerability, the act of being judged, etc that rendered a man faceless. In the wake of lurking uncertainties, you weave a cocoon around, so that you have the time to tear away the mask of becoming faceless. What makes them so and why are they guarded. This is a million dollar question each asks oneself, when rendered faceless due to innumerable reasons.

You sometimes feel unsettled out of the blue; drained and depleted, due to something unpleasant that happened in the journey of life. It is not your fault, yet you feel responsible. It is a phase of ironic truth that is heart and soul wrenching; of the identity of 'you' in yourself. It is an ultimate truth of probably becoming a 'nobody' in the journey of life.

A twilight reflection.

Before the complete darkness falls after the sun says goodbye and sinks down, the sky is an artist's workshop; the sky in a tapestry of colors that makes me spell bound. The scattering light of the setting sun reflects the colors and illuminates the sky in splendour that leaves me flabbergasted. Many a day just passes off without much consequences or recognition. But there are times of the day that reflection is simple yet resplendent. Twilight is that part of the day, which seems to gently remind me to slow down, reflecting on the present moments. For me it is a kind of distilled inspiration to watch out for such moments.

The magical hours of twilight are a great time to watch out for its beautiful hues. The reflections of the sunset and twilight colors in water are a feast to the mind, heart and soul. The sky and the surface of the water, inspire the mind with its spectacular artistry. The sunset is a promise for a new dawn, yet it is majestically beautiful filling the soul with a dream of a new day. 

The glowing embers of the dying fire in the sky winks down from the sky at the still waters, making it crimson with a warmth and illuminates the sky with its reflections in the water as the curtain of the sky drops down the twilight colors. The sinking lustrous, disc casts brilliant shades of colors across the sky and the water surface.

Sunsets are magnificent and awe-inspiring examples of the wonder of nature and there’s one at the end of every single day! So when was the last time you stopped and took a few minutes to appreciate this awesome spectacle? A beautiful sunset illustrates the passing time while making it seem to stand still for just a moment. The amazing display of light and color reflecting just can’t be recreated anywhere else. In the hustle and bustle of life, it is often forgotten how to appreciate pure beauty. You can rediscover the lost romance of life gazing at the setting sun. They are so simple, yet can transform the outlook of your life.  

For me the evening sky is a constant companion that never fails to soothe and heal me. A few moments spent gazing at the sky, in the silhouette of the setting sun and the spectacular display of the colors reflected, is an inspiration to forget all the heartaches of the day, to wait for a new day that it promises me. 

"Twilight comes in flushed with warmth,

soft diffused light scatters,

illuminating the sky,

as darkness befalls,

creating a flutter in my heart."

Photograph courtesy: Asha Menon.

Paper hearts.

Words are little paper hearts,

sometimes shot from a cupid’s bow,

that evoke many emotions,

echoing in the mind,

twisting all chords,

leaving one puzzled,

at the feelings mere words can yield.

They can make love,

bind you together in unison,

control you to follow,

with a mystery to make bridges,

between two hearts,

butterflies fluttering in stomach,

in an eternal love.

Like carved phrases or composed melodies,

flowing from the heart and soul,

in the whispering pages,

passing through ages,

etched with promises,

each word bleeding ink,

paper hearts cannot be replaced.

Posted in High on Poems.

The sensitive, 'Touch me not.'

" Touch me not" is a sensitive plant, that wilts or droops at the slightest touch on its leaves. So also that name is given in general to a very sensitive person too. Just like a very sensitive person draws into himself/herself when hurt, the touch me not leaves fold inwards and droop when touched or shaken defending themselves from harm and then after a few minutes they re-open. 

As a child, and even now, touch me not is a plant that delights me, makes me smile whatever state of mind, and it has always created interest in me at the sensitivity of its leaves to human touch. It is a fascinating response, that ignites the curiosity of the mind. Some compare it to the response of a man at the touch of the opposite sex. Whatever it might be, it still fascinates me. I go looking for these plants and see its response at my touch. A perfect example of a stimulus, though it is a defense mechanism. 

I used to wonder at the euphoria created at the sight of these plants. How a touch makes it shudder and fold the leaves, is something I used to compare to an unwanted talk or touch that could make me shudder from inside. It is still a plant that ignites a thought in my mind to ponder over.

"A sentient touch me not,

there is a space that none can perceive,

in the touch me not leaves,

its beauty is second to none,

though they wilt at the slightest touch,

sensitive as they may seem,

for they wrap arms around themselves,

with a sense of true longing.

Who says they have no feelings,
It is just a self defense.

Transitions through cancer (From my book, "When I fell in love with life."

The transition in a woman’s life when she loses her most important feminine part is like going into a cocoon and coming out like a beautiful butterfly. For me, it is realizing that beauty is not in physical appearance, but in inner strength and the positive glow you radiate. At this crucial crossroad of life, I am attracted to a flower as I am a lover of nature, who from childhood observed the flowers and the butterflies that are attracted to them, although the similarity is usually found between a flower and a woman.
Flowers are a delicate entity of beauty to behold: a thing of beauty that is a joy forever. A flower is admired, caressed, adorned, crushed, destroyed, used, misused or abused.
Much like a woman who is often compared to a flower.
Just as a flower is considered to lose its beauty when it loses its petals or it falls off or fades or dries up, so does a woman lose her attractiveness. But, even then the flower is useful at that time, just like a woman.
Just as a butterfly is attracted to a beautiful flower, so is a man towards a woman. Butterflies are often given a masculine gender because they flutter from flower to flower. The essence of a flower’s beauty or a woman’s beauty is enough to take anyone’s breath away. But no one bothers to look for the inner strength that is the real beauty.
A woman is loved and adored as long as she is able to serve the purpose; so is a flower. Both can bring a feeling of exhilaration and awe. Man thrives on the very existence of flowers with or without the awareness of its characteristics and traits which are similar to that of a woman. Though a woman has many parts that a flower does not have, they have the body and soul of a flower. The honey or nectar could be their lusty essence of womanhood. But sometimes, a woman floats into nothingness.
I was not bothered about losing the most-sought-after ‘part’ of femininity, even though I had already lost another vital attribute part of womanhood, one that makes you a proud mother.
It is a trauma to lose it suddenly, and at an age when you are not old enough to lose it. The after-effects of not producing vital ‘feminine’ hormones, the psychological changes a woman goes through due to sudden menopausal symptoms, a lack of understanding --- everything is sometimes a slap on the face of womanhood.
I am a rebel and a strong believer of keeping up the dignity of woman. A slighting word from anyone was like taking the wrath of a rebel in every way. I was a person who grew up hating the perverted and selfish ways of men (though I don’t measure all with the same yardstick because I find women too of the same category).
A woman can be the most passionate person. But she can also become tight-lipped and non-expressive in an extended family. From being someone who was very expressive and straightforward, it was a great change to become a person who buried everything in the remote recesses of her mind --- a person who has passionately given her everything for the family that was her world --- it was nothing less than trauma that affected the heart, body and soul to lose her feminine parts.
Being born the fighter she was, she turned to the things that meant a lot to her. First time she lost her vital femininity, she went back to teaching tiny tots who captivated her heart. When her world crashed again with the loss of all her remaining ‘feminism’, she took to reading that used to be her world, and slowly she took to writing her thoughts, a habit her dad had inculcated in her as a child.
I am still passionate, beautiful and the same person I used to be. I learnt that passion and unfeigned love never dies. I love cancer for what it has done for me --- to be my old expressive self, writing my innermost thoughts, which perhaps someday someone might read and figure out that inside the fighter, there still lives a vulnerable person who is ever passionate and ever loving.
A beautiful bud bloomed,
when a butterfly softly touched,
she slowly unfolded her petals,
singing the most melodious tune,
she had in her rejoicing heart.
A waft of misty enchantment,
created a magic in the air,
as the butterfly kissed her,
she danced in the gentle breeze
flashing the most beautiful smile,
with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes,
feeling happy to have
endured the pain of a bud
blossoming into a delicate beauty,
she spread her sweet fragrance
knowing well she had to join
a carpet of flowers, in its bower.

From 'When I fell in love with life'.

The ever giving Portia tree.

Trees have been silent companions of a man. They are an endless source and resource that teach us and also nurture us. They are good teachers of patience, endurance, strength, healing, the value of standing tall,  rest to rejuvenate, to reveal oneself with honesty, freedom and to be deep rooted with a firm foundation.

The Portia tree also known as Indian Tulip has kept me in awe from the time my eyes fell on it. As I watched it, I was taken aback seeing the striking resemblance of the transition of life in a woman and the flower of that tree. It is a quick growing ever green tree with glossy dark green heart shaped leaves, showing that it is an ever giving tree. The flowers appear singly off and on throughout the year. The petals are so tightly compressed in the bud condition that even when the flower is fully open, all the five petals look crumpled. The petals are yellow, with a bright red spot at the base, each wrapping the other along one margin and itself overlapped by the petals adjacent to it on the other side. As the flowers grow old, they take on a pinkish hue before they fall off. Some of the flowers hang on to the fruits, till they really shrivel up and fall down.

This flower has captivated my soul to such an extent. I always compare a woman to a flower. The bud as it starts opening up reminds me of a girl maturing into an adult. The flower when it open up fully, it displays its actual beauty like a woman who attains complete womanhood and opens up to the one who is her life partner. Later on the flower starts closing, taking a pinkish hue portraying its beauty and glow, showing the graceful aging of a woman. It bears fruit and the flower hangs on till the fruit matures and then gradually falls off in full splendor.

Trees have always been my silent companion from childhood, playing with them; climbing up and sitting on its branches. Today they heal me like nothing else can. The first thing in the morning I make my coffee and sit in the balcony listening to the rustle of its leaves, the flower slowly opening up and the heart shaped leaves that smile at me.