The Paradox of vulnerability in being Positive.

I believe in the curious philosophy of questioning and reasoning whatever comes my way; then understanding the big “Why questions” and the process of reasoning to conclusions.  I believe that there are no “Unanswerable Questions.”  And that is the reason, why I question myself when others define me. I am surrounded by the questions, why, how, when, what and where to come to a conclusion of introspecting myself.

The thought that I am becoming too sensitive haunted me day and night, making me think and reason with myself.  Is it vulnerability? Does being positive in all situations ban you from being vulnerable sometimes?  Vulnerability is a part I show to very few close people in life.  It may be a doorway to affection that gives true strength.  We always erect self protective armour, which very few people can invade. Awareness of it is a huge step towards courage and strength.  When a person unconsciously hurts while being defensive, we are faced with a sense of getting vulnerable; that we feel is a threat to our feelings.

I have been thinking a lot about being positive and vulnerability. The idea of the word itself, the hard V and the falling of it, just before it picks itself back in hopefulness is part of being described as relentless. Is it a dedication to being joy, peace of being mindful, and compassion to the ones we hold close?  Is it a commitment of providing a warm, supportive environment, fostering mindfulness and compassion in the relationship with yourself and your loved ones? Isn't it humane to be vulnerable? And does it mean that being positive, you are out of all fears, pains and feelings? Could be it is a connection to feel at ease.... or is it that I chose to be vulnerable in spite of the positivity?

I wonder what it would be to just miss so many moments of our life because we think it doesn't matter at all. The truth is that I don’t let such feelings linger in me to weigh me down. I voice my feelings to very few people whom I think; I can show that part of me that is soft and vulnerable. Yes being vulnerable involves a lot of risk. But being positive in all circumstances, helps to squash everything and smile at it; life being a continuous process in learning.

A crab teaches a great lesson in vulnerability.  It has an outer skeleton, known as  exoskeleton   which is hard and inflexible protects it from an outside attack. But as the crab grows, its outer shell doesn't grow with it. This same structure, because of its inflexibility, ironically becomes a ceiling for growth and development of the organism. The crab intuitively knows that, in order to grow, it must back out of its shell.  This is what the crab, in fact, does. But, what if you were to outgrow your armour?  What could you do or be if you refused to suffocate in your protective shell? It is a thought worth pondering over.

When you decide to live your life authentically and honestly by discarding your exoskeleton, you are indeed more open to hurts.  Those entire why’s, what-ifs swirling around in your head just has to be left as it is, when you want to progress in your new set of challenges and believe in yourself. And at the same time, become all you are meant to be by staying what you are and who you are. The question that put me to think made me analyse my own actions and outgrow all that was haunting  in my mind. Transitions are a time of great vulnerability because we do not know what is going to happen and how things might turn out for us; however, we can learn from it. There is no growth without vulnerability; being vulnerable is a temporary state that if worked through, can actually make you stronger and  tackle even some difficult challenges with unbelievable courage, strength and confidence.