As I look back on my journey of life, I realize that 2014 May, I celebrate my cancer anniversary(Cancerversary). It marks the survival of me despite the pain, poking, discomforts, transformations and transmutations. The completion of an important, yet difficult phase of life that was absolutely meaningful.
Though I knew about the traumatic nature of the creeping crab, I chose to look at it as a journey of love, making use of all the tools that kept me positive. I never wanted to use the terms poison or deadly and chose to take all the procedures and treatment as a learning process and as a light of love. I considered it as a gift to make a deep connection to myself and the value of life; the spirit that took hold of me in a positive way. There started my love story with the creeping crab, that came in the form of breast cancer.
My only aim in life became to capture the essence of any given moment, and make it a significant milestone of life. Even after all the chemo's and radiations, the creeping crab was reluctant to leave me. It was all set to invade my tissues time and again, in the form of the suspicious looking atypical cells, that tend to act like cancerous cells. I felt that the creeping crab was madly in love with my body, but the born fighter in me was not willing to budge a wee bit. Sounds cruel and crude, but an ironical truth.
After two years of the love journey, it came back yet again threatening to seek vengeance. When I was being stripped down the layers of tissues physically, I realized the validity of my spirits that made me positive and felt very tender and joyful. First time I started loving the creeping crab, that made me what I am today - stronger and with more courage. I knew that it was embracing the unknown, accepting the unbelievable and then celebrating all the milestones - that of all surgeries, scans and the scars.
Sometimes life is all about taking a deep breath and pausing; then listening. It means continuing my fight with courage, renewed strength, by nourishing and taking care of myself. It also made me value life and I feel a kind of gratitude towards cancer, for allowing myself to shine and celebrate myself. The residuals, insights, moments of recurrences, FNAC's, the threat of atypical cells and the whole process marks the cancerversary as the ultimate and unique love story of my life - that with myself and cancer. It is always a bitter-sweet plot of life's journey.
Like many other love stories, my journey with cancer started in a fight and ended up falling in love with it, for what it made me realize, the importance of life, relationships, family and then my priorities in life. I was thrown head first into the world of cancer and accepted it with grace and courage. It is a love story, simply because something beautiful emerged out of that struggle and journey to survive, grow and shine with a positive radiance. Every person touched with cancer will have a story to narrate.
Today, after going through a second mastectomy, I feel that cancer, the creeping crab did make a drastic change, making me always positive, grabbing the odds and hurling them back to say try me again. It is a love/hate story of fear for some, but for some it is a love story, that made them survive against all odds. Though it does try to scare with suspicious looking cells, the fighter in me prepared for anything, a veteran as I am jokingly called, gives a tough time , instead of it giving me scary days. Isn't my love story interesting? After going through so much pain, the scars, bruises, and all the trials, I still feel, "Wow, I made it fighting all odds." I really feel triumphant that I made it with a smile. They say the scarred tissues are much stronger than the regular tissues. May be an after effect of the strong willed perseverance.
"The creeping crab does make you realize what loss is, makes you fight and find your way out from the depths. You learn to appreciate life and that understanding fills you with an empathy; a deeper concern for the value of life. It is when the very core of your life is threatened, you realize the value of being alive and each day you wake up a blessing. It is then you look at the small things that gives you joy and count the little blessings being sent your way. It teaches you to believe in that which can cure the briefness of life, for there is no remedy for mortality. You learn to continue your belief in your doctors, the treatment, decisions; and most importantly yourself and your strength to endure. You learn to appreciate and enjoy every single day fighting all the negatives to stay positive."
I was a rebel, am a rebel and will continue being a rebel. And cancer made me stay a rebel forever. As Jim Valvano quoted, "Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul." I am a born fighter and will remain one against all odds.
Though I knew about the traumatic nature of the creeping crab, I chose to look at it as a journey of love, making use of all the tools that kept me positive. I never wanted to use the terms poison or deadly and chose to take all the procedures and treatment as a learning process and as a light of love. I considered it as a gift to make a deep connection to myself and the value of life; the spirit that took hold of me in a positive way. There started my love story with the creeping crab, that came in the form of breast cancer.
My only aim in life became to capture the essence of any given moment, and make it a significant milestone of life. Even after all the chemo's and radiations, the creeping crab was reluctant to leave me. It was all set to invade my tissues time and again, in the form of the suspicious looking atypical cells, that tend to act like cancerous cells. I felt that the creeping crab was madly in love with my body, but the born fighter in me was not willing to budge a wee bit. Sounds cruel and crude, but an ironical truth.
After two years of the love journey, it came back yet again threatening to seek vengeance. When I was being stripped down the layers of tissues physically, I realized the validity of my spirits that made me positive and felt very tender and joyful. First time I started loving the creeping crab, that made me what I am today - stronger and with more courage. I knew that it was embracing the unknown, accepting the unbelievable and then celebrating all the milestones - that of all surgeries, scans and the scars.
Sometimes life is all about taking a deep breath and pausing; then listening. It means continuing my fight with courage, renewed strength, by nourishing and taking care of myself. It also made me value life and I feel a kind of gratitude towards cancer, for allowing myself to shine and celebrate myself. The residuals, insights, moments of recurrences, FNAC's, the threat of atypical cells and the whole process marks the cancerversary as the ultimate and unique love story of my life - that with myself and cancer. It is always a bitter-sweet plot of life's journey.
Like many other love stories, my journey with cancer started in a fight and ended up falling in love with it, for what it made me realize, the importance of life, relationships, family and then my priorities in life. I was thrown head first into the world of cancer and accepted it with grace and courage. It is a love story, simply because something beautiful emerged out of that struggle and journey to survive, grow and shine with a positive radiance. Every person touched with cancer will have a story to narrate.
Today, after going through a second mastectomy, I feel that cancer, the creeping crab did make a drastic change, making me always positive, grabbing the odds and hurling them back to say try me again. It is a love/hate story of fear for some, but for some it is a love story, that made them survive against all odds. Though it does try to scare with suspicious looking cells, the fighter in me prepared for anything, a veteran as I am jokingly called, gives a tough time , instead of it giving me scary days. Isn't my love story interesting? After going through so much pain, the scars, bruises, and all the trials, I still feel, "Wow, I made it fighting all odds." I really feel triumphant that I made it with a smile. They say the scarred tissues are much stronger than the regular tissues. May be an after effect of the strong willed perseverance.
"The creeping crab does make you realize what loss is, makes you fight and find your way out from the depths. You learn to appreciate life and that understanding fills you with an empathy; a deeper concern for the value of life. It is when the very core of your life is threatened, you realize the value of being alive and each day you wake up a blessing. It is then you look at the small things that gives you joy and count the little blessings being sent your way. It teaches you to believe in that which can cure the briefness of life, for there is no remedy for mortality. You learn to continue your belief in your doctors, the treatment, decisions; and most importantly yourself and your strength to endure. You learn to appreciate and enjoy every single day fighting all the negatives to stay positive."
I was a rebel, am a rebel and will continue being a rebel. And cancer made me stay a rebel forever. As Jim Valvano quoted, "Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul." I am a born fighter and will remain one against all odds.
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