Some lone battles in the journey of life.

Thoughts are the seeds of your action and thoughts are what make you what you are. It is  simply an indication of our life on the whole, in its flow. It is how you stand up against adversities and face it. It is said that if there is light in the soul, there is beauty in it. Sometimes in life's journey you have to walk it alone. It is not that your loved ones are not with you, it is just because some battles in life have to be fought on your own. You have to walk it alone because only you know what it is to fight out the cells that tend to gnaw every now and then into the healthy tissues of your body. In a fight against life, no matter what it hands you out of the blue, you need to be strong and face it head on.

When life gifted me with a triple negative cancer, I was prepared to face the recurrences and fight it out with a never give up attitude. At times the body does become weak, making you quite vulnerable. It is  a long emotional fight with yourself. If you let that feeling take an upper hand, then it victimizes you. It is a lone battle that you have to fight on your own. Instead of becoming a victim of the pain, win it out and live life with a legacy. It may mean fighting with your mind and body, but if there is an inner drive in you to fight it out against all odds, then half your battle is won. It is not a fantasy of life but a stark reality. In life's journey your true courage and personality come out when you have nothing to lose; and your only choice is to face the situation with a smile. There is a 'can' in "cancer', because you can beat it.

I read somewhere a quote - "When you are down and out remember this: That the sun rises for you to give you light, the trees take in your carbon dioxide just so it can give you oxygen and the rain falls to cool you down. Why give up when nature has faith in you?" How true it is. Why give up just like that, when the actual power lies within you to heal yourself with your inner strength? Why stress yourself? Why let others stress you out? Adversities make you strong, it is the journey of the unknown which gives you real strength and the will to face any challenges in life. It is that positive drive in you which weakens even the cells that come to invade the very core of your life. When you are in a lone battle with the creeping crab, it is a life of constant learning, a constant fight with the one which has come to hack your life.

Life sometimes turns out to  be different and also cruel. It may not be things that you wanted to happen. But from that life too you can gain everything you want instead of wallowing in self pity. There is a positive side of learning whatever you may go through in life. You can find happiness and peace in many ways in spite of what you are going through in life, that destiny itself cannot explain. You can find joy in many things even when you are constantly fighting with pain. Your fight with the unknown ways of cancer shows you, how precious and fragile life is. It is like vapor, here today, but gone tomorrow. As long as you are alive, live life fully without moaning about everything.

The wear and tear of your system, sometimes lands you with lot of problems. Though a human body has its own defense mechanisms, time and again you end up going through lot of surgeries and the post operative pains. Every organ of your body is sometimes threatened in more than one way. The biggest and unknown battle of life is the invasion of cancer cells in your body. The  trauma of the surgery, the aftereffects and the pain is like a non ending battle, that you have to fight alone. No one knows what you are going through, hence a lone battle that is fought with your own body both physically and psychologically. The minute you give in to the pain, your battle is lost forever. You have to fight it out every living moment of your life. But at the end of that long tunnel of trauma, when you come out victorious with a smile, you feel that it was worth putting up with all the pains. A lone battle that you fought with yourself enduring all the physical pain and the psychological power to heal yourself in spite of all the challenges. Never let life during any illness, make you regret about the life you lived life before that,  but let it be a dream about the life you will live after you have conquered it.

I  prefer to live a full life, even if my life was a roller coaster ride with lots of ups and downs, twists and turns, not knowing the speed nor what's next - a drop, a sudden turn or a climb over a steep hill. I choose to live without fear , allowing my life to open with an inner power and strength to be a glowing torch, always lighting a fire in the heart to face the unknown with courage and patience. Life always kept me on my toes, being hit by something unexpected, sometimes an emotion, a bruise, a scar  and always many challenges. It is that real life experiences which made me, what I am today, no matter what the battle. It is the mental attitude that makes or breaks life.  Never rent life from others. Fight your own battles, even if you have to fight it out alone. Walk the journey of life with courage, breathe with a strong will and determination on your own. Let your grit and perseverance propel you forward in life. Face everything with hope and courage, challenge it till it leaves you,  lift your spirits when you feel weak and soar high with all your strength and life's energy.

I am thankful for the little mercies God bestows on me, in everything I go through. I find immense joy in little things around me. Being a born fighter I don't like to give in to any pain, but fight it out daily just because it makes me lively and energetic. Life taught me from a very young age to fight my own battles and be my own fortress and power of strength. Why cancer cells invade my body time and again is still an unknown truth - may be it is genetic. Even doctors don't have an answer. The unknown has forever intrigued me and never created a fear in me. I have learned one fact of life and that is never to give in, but to be a born fighter always. In spite of all these battles, I know one day I have to go away from this world. But I will be happy to have fought all my battles as a warrior and never  a victim. Life is always beautiful and it is the unknown that keeps me going.I was, am and will be a tower of strength to my loved ones. I know that I would always be that glowing ember, the one smoldering forever, even in the ashes.