It is an irony of life, that sometimes you realize the value of pampering yourself for all the sacrifices made in life and all the pains endured, when it is rather too late to mend the overworked body. Still it gives a sense of satisfaction that the mind, soul and body, was used, misused and abused at times, for the welfare and happiness of the loved ones.
When you are on a journey of life, accommodating others and neglecting the redressing of your own needs, then the body revolts on its own, before you could even realize it. It is then a revolution of the 'You' challenging you to look at it with a different perspective. Anything and everything needs to balance itself, to walk the tight rope of life, be it even your own self.
Life is really worth more than valuing, feeling inadequate or wallowing in self pity looking for a shoulder to cry upon. It is the real pain in life that makes you realize that life is the most valuable commodity. A life is never dependent on another. It is an entity by itself. The psychological, emotional and physical pain, all these depend only on one person and that is "YOU." A very late realization that a man comes all alone to this world, and you have only yourself to heal, inspire, motivate and rejuvenate. Every man is lonely, even when many loved ones are around you. Only YOU can heal your own pains and it is foolishness to look forward for emotional empathy. The day this realization comes, you are at peace with yourself.
The best healer in any pain is the nature surrounding you. A lover of nature always, I realized its impact and healing capacity on me, after the creeping crab invaded my body. The magical sunset, the sky, the clouds, river, sea, mountains, trees , rains and cloudy skies; everything around me brought happiness and I considered them the little blessings sent my way. I found a childish joy in getting drenched in the rain,allowing the raindrops to fall on my face to heal me. I felt a kind of childish excitement while digging my toes into the sand when the playful waves caressed my feet. It was like feeling myself energized when I could take in a whiff of the fresh misty air on the top of the mountains.
The first time I was robbed of an organ, making me less feminine in appearance, I had not known what was in store for me, neither the pain nor the trauma. Living through it was nothing short of a penance of life. Even after coming out of that which seemed a never ending tunnel, I still had the sword of Damocles hanging over my head, in the form of another lump. The born fighter in me fought against all odds of life. Always felt it is these challenges and pains that kept me alive, taught me the value of my life and me.
When life gave me the creeping crab as company, the triple negative one that was most aggressive, I had prepared myself for a long battle. Today I have become a veteran in the eyes of my loved ones and my doctors, who helped me fight my battle. But it is really the one battling through all the trauma who does, through sheer grit and courage. When my lump was always painful, the oozing fluid and blood landed me yet again in the most sophisticated cave. I had started my battle once again. When the suggestion of the lumpectomy was given, I opted for the mastectomy, knowing very well what was in store for me. I wanted the removal of that which threatened me with invasion of the creeping crabs. Pain rained on me, but I realized the value of LIFE. It is these pains that keeps me grounded and feel alive to fight out the challenges.
It was then I realized how we take life for granted. How we hesitate to take the right decisions of life, letting the heart rule over the mind. Life is always a battle between the mind and heart. I rebel and question with my mind, all that the heart tries to dictate. You suffer silently for those who can uproot the very foundation of life, neglecting your loved ones. If ever I wanted to be happy, that depended solely on me. "Every man walks a lonely path in the journey of life, as you have only yourself in life and nobody else. All those who are with you are your co-passengers who go off, when they reach their destination. You are your own sole companion, solace, healer, inspiration and rejuvenation.
I am just like any one else, a normal human being. But I am a born fighter. I have a strong fortress of strength , courage and positive attitude. Like anything in this life, the seasons do threaten to weaken it time and again. I try and garnish them with the natural ingredients to see that it doesn't crumble or wither away. My biggest asset is my "Never give up" stand that I have taken all along my life that had always been a long winding path with lots of hair pin bends and my "Positive attitude."
"Even when pain lashes out at me testing my patience and fortitude,
I DARE to burn, even when I turn to ashes."
When you are on a journey of life, accommodating others and neglecting the redressing of your own needs, then the body revolts on its own, before you could even realize it. It is then a revolution of the 'You' challenging you to look at it with a different perspective. Anything and everything needs to balance itself, to walk the tight rope of life, be it even your own self.
Life is really worth more than valuing, feeling inadequate or wallowing in self pity looking for a shoulder to cry upon. It is the real pain in life that makes you realize that life is the most valuable commodity. A life is never dependent on another. It is an entity by itself. The psychological, emotional and physical pain, all these depend only on one person and that is "YOU." A very late realization that a man comes all alone to this world, and you have only yourself to heal, inspire, motivate and rejuvenate. Every man is lonely, even when many loved ones are around you. Only YOU can heal your own pains and it is foolishness to look forward for emotional empathy. The day this realization comes, you are at peace with yourself.
The best healer in any pain is the nature surrounding you. A lover of nature always, I realized its impact and healing capacity on me, after the creeping crab invaded my body. The magical sunset, the sky, the clouds, river, sea, mountains, trees , rains and cloudy skies; everything around me brought happiness and I considered them the little blessings sent my way. I found a childish joy in getting drenched in the rain,allowing the raindrops to fall on my face to heal me. I felt a kind of childish excitement while digging my toes into the sand when the playful waves caressed my feet. It was like feeling myself energized when I could take in a whiff of the fresh misty air on the top of the mountains.
The first time I was robbed of an organ, making me less feminine in appearance, I had not known what was in store for me, neither the pain nor the trauma. Living through it was nothing short of a penance of life. Even after coming out of that which seemed a never ending tunnel, I still had the sword of Damocles hanging over my head, in the form of another lump. The born fighter in me fought against all odds of life. Always felt it is these challenges and pains that kept me alive, taught me the value of my life and me.
When life gave me the creeping crab as company, the triple negative one that was most aggressive, I had prepared myself for a long battle. Today I have become a veteran in the eyes of my loved ones and my doctors, who helped me fight my battle. But it is really the one battling through all the trauma who does, through sheer grit and courage. When my lump was always painful, the oozing fluid and blood landed me yet again in the most sophisticated cave. I had started my battle once again. When the suggestion of the lumpectomy was given, I opted for the mastectomy, knowing very well what was in store for me. I wanted the removal of that which threatened me with invasion of the creeping crabs. Pain rained on me, but I realized the value of LIFE. It is these pains that keeps me grounded and feel alive to fight out the challenges.
It was then I realized how we take life for granted. How we hesitate to take the right decisions of life, letting the heart rule over the mind. Life is always a battle between the mind and heart. I rebel and question with my mind, all that the heart tries to dictate. You suffer silently for those who can uproot the very foundation of life, neglecting your loved ones. If ever I wanted to be happy, that depended solely on me. "Every man walks a lonely path in the journey of life, as you have only yourself in life and nobody else. All those who are with you are your co-passengers who go off, when they reach their destination. You are your own sole companion, solace, healer, inspiration and rejuvenation.
I am just like any one else, a normal human being. But I am a born fighter. I have a strong fortress of strength , courage and positive attitude. Like anything in this life, the seasons do threaten to weaken it time and again. I try and garnish them with the natural ingredients to see that it doesn't crumble or wither away. My biggest asset is my "Never give up" stand that I have taken all along my life that had always been a long winding path with lots of hair pin bends and my "Positive attitude."
"Even when pain lashes out at me testing my patience and fortitude,
I DARE to burn, even when I turn to ashes."
4 comments:
It is a hard hitting gritty account of how adversities could be smiled over and making the seemingly end of the road finalities mere road blocks in a long drive. Its said that you create your own music and in the event of set backs most of us often play elegiac notes and some rare breed still makes Waltz.
Its a given that man comes alone and leaves alone but in the period between the entry and exit, we have a life to catch on, whether with hordes of people or all alone and many a times life gas this nasty habit of throwing curve balls. You get some and you miss some. People react in many ways towards crisis. some would weep through and some just sulk through dying within moments after each harrowing moments and there are a few who would grab the odds by the balls, glare back and say " hello Mr Death, now the noose ( read onus) is on you".
Hats off to you for being one of the rarest specimen I have ever come across..:)
All my doctors tell me that it is my positive outlook towards life that makes it easy for them. Even a doctors prescription works only if you have the positive faith. Thank you for that insight, Arun. You know your real strength when you are pushed to the edge.
Someone said that " the full form of P A I N was 'Positive Attitude In Negative situations.' " Eveny when one knows one has no choice in a situation like your's , It is not always easy to be positive. But your positive attitude is infectious and your writings, as always, inspiring. Carry on dear braveheart , you are sure to win this battle too !
Thank you Asha.
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