Does everything in life have a price? A question of a rebelling mind, thinking of my life beyond cancer. It made me contemplate on life deeply and I thought to myself that everything in life has a price, little do we think about it. All just go about in life, getting what each one wants, little thinking that a price is being paid for each little thing, either in a material or non-material way. But then again my mind rebels with all the questions possible in my vocabulary, thinking aren't there a lot of little things that doesn't come with a price tag?
But when you take life as a commodity, everything has a price. You pay not only for the choices made in life, but also for the choices you never made. You pay for every thing happening around you in some way or the other. Some of the ways in which you pay are with your life itself, some with your time, freedom, money, trust, peace of mind, health, relationships, privacy, hard work and also tears. These are all your day to day life taxes that you pay for the life or living. when you think of it, it has no end. Time is one thing involved in many, and like life you while away the most. If you want to realize and work to fulfill a dream, there too sometimes a price has to be paid, in some way or the other.
Anyway, my thought about all these came from the realization of my fight for life. Throughout my life, I have been a fighter where my health or life was at stake. At the age of three life gifted me a lump on my thighs, on the eve of the surgery date, it disappeared and the price I had to pay for it was excruciating pain in that leg, till date. My three years of cancer took me through a lots of paths unknown and known to me. Cancer made me realize the value of life. The winding path I had to take always, never deterred me from my fight with life.
Now I have learned that apart from the trauma of going through the treatment of cancer and the after effects of it that is immediate, there are a lot of after effects that can prop up even after years of completing the treatment. It differs in every individual and some survivors may never have any side effects whatsoever. This doesn't make me give up my fight. For me it is a new learning experience, though I never knew that cancer and its treatments can have so many repercussions. Today I am preparing myself to give a fight, daring to challenge those effects, thinking I still have many little things that mean a lot to me and am more blessed than I can ever think of.
I find it amusing that anything and everything happening in my body, doctors have a scapegoat to point out, cancer and its after effects. The excruciating pain in the bones, cancer is blamed. The weakening retina, cancer is blamed. I sometimes muse over it thinking, it is like you always try to find a scapegoat to blame for all that is happening to you in your life. Today I would like to say, it is like a wake up call, for all that you tend to overlook in the rat race of life, just not giving enough care to your body when you can and should have. You need to pamper yourself a little once in a way and relax, taking time away from all the mundane activities of life, just to rejuvenate and re-energize yourself.
It is true that no one knows what life holds tomorrow. But today I still find joy in doing what means the most to me and keeps me going, even when I am fighting it out with my body daily. Whatever may be the after effect of the creeping crab, I still have the strength and will to wade through it with a never give up attitude, knowing my fight gets tougher with each challenge hurled at me. A love for life, through a love for myself, forever falling in love with myself.
Here I am reminded of the verse of Robert Frost,
But when you take life as a commodity, everything has a price. You pay not only for the choices made in life, but also for the choices you never made. You pay for every thing happening around you in some way or the other. Some of the ways in which you pay are with your life itself, some with your time, freedom, money, trust, peace of mind, health, relationships, privacy, hard work and also tears. These are all your day to day life taxes that you pay for the life or living. when you think of it, it has no end. Time is one thing involved in many, and like life you while away the most. If you want to realize and work to fulfill a dream, there too sometimes a price has to be paid, in some way or the other.
Anyway, my thought about all these came from the realization of my fight for life. Throughout my life, I have been a fighter where my health or life was at stake. At the age of three life gifted me a lump on my thighs, on the eve of the surgery date, it disappeared and the price I had to pay for it was excruciating pain in that leg, till date. My three years of cancer took me through a lots of paths unknown and known to me. Cancer made me realize the value of life. The winding path I had to take always, never deterred me from my fight with life.
Now I have learned that apart from the trauma of going through the treatment of cancer and the after effects of it that is immediate, there are a lot of after effects that can prop up even after years of completing the treatment. It differs in every individual and some survivors may never have any side effects whatsoever. This doesn't make me give up my fight. For me it is a new learning experience, though I never knew that cancer and its treatments can have so many repercussions. Today I am preparing myself to give a fight, daring to challenge those effects, thinking I still have many little things that mean a lot to me and am more blessed than I can ever think of.
I find it amusing that anything and everything happening in my body, doctors have a scapegoat to point out, cancer and its after effects. The excruciating pain in the bones, cancer is blamed. The weakening retina, cancer is blamed. I sometimes muse over it thinking, it is like you always try to find a scapegoat to blame for all that is happening to you in your life. Today I would like to say, it is like a wake up call, for all that you tend to overlook in the rat race of life, just not giving enough care to your body when you can and should have. You need to pamper yourself a little once in a way and relax, taking time away from all the mundane activities of life, just to rejuvenate and re-energize yourself.
It is true that no one knows what life holds tomorrow. But today I still find joy in doing what means the most to me and keeps me going, even when I am fighting it out with my body daily. Whatever may be the after effect of the creeping crab, I still have the strength and will to wade through it with a never give up attitude, knowing my fight gets tougher with each challenge hurled at me. A love for life, through a love for myself, forever falling in love with myself.
Here I am reminded of the verse of Robert Frost,
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
And yes, I have a dream to fulfill, promises to keep and duties to be fulfilled. And that keeps me going in spite of everything.
2 comments:
A rebel's defiant statement..:)
:-)
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