Retreating facades

In the circuitous journey of life,

my soul takes flight in the,

actuality that is bent by lies,

flouting the complexities.

The soul is bared in the affectation,

charlatan smiles and painful thoughtlessness,

in a fiesta of blinds,

I blanket my true feelings in a shroud of dismay.

A desire to escape into the mystic mist,

departing miles away into the hills,

unmasking all my apparitions,

into a reality of lingering silences.

© Geetha Paniker.

Masquerade of life.

In quiet masquerade of life,

true feelings shroud in dismay,

the glimmering reflections,

in broken shards,

a memory vague lingers on,

like a captor in my soul.

© Geetha Paniker

The heart, that's the spring of life.

The heart is believed to be the strongest muscle in the human body. Perhaps that's the reason why it is able to withstand the use, misuse and abuse, with strength and courage. But like everything else, isn't there a limit to which it can endure? Is it the perspective of setting your priorities right? A lot of questions hang around my rebelling mind. I have always believed that the pain I feel today will be my strength tomorrow. I have always been a warrior, but does that make me less vulnerable or open to the weakening of the heart or the body? Sometimes it is the poison of the words that numbs the heart and soul, that makes me wish that I had a big whole where my heart is. But the empty spaces of my life stare at me. I kick start my survival mode to protect the emptiness that creeps into me. Emptiness seems to be atrophy, feeling numbed all over.

Am I creating a wall around my heart? The answer would be a big no, to be true to myself. When the heart is used and abused and misused, it gives warning signals, if you care to pay attention to. Now my heart is giving me an ultimatum. I decide to let go and move on, though there is a lot of pain and hurt. I decide to open my heart to things that make me alive, and not get weakened by the stings. It is easier said than done, but nothing is impossible; though it takes time. 

"Grow your heart by learning from the pain and continuing on. Continue on as before, loving as deeply as you can." The emotions of the mind and heart can be controlled, but the working of the heart needs time to recuperate. The pain still comes, soft and far between. My eyes still tear. But now, it’s for the gratitude, for the biggest lesson, for the little piece of my heart that tells me, "You are a fighter and you are going to be fine."

The body tells the heart to slow down; the heart tells the mind and body to slow down. If I don't take care of my heart, none will. I wake up to an awakening of putting myself first, living my moments for the little things that give me joy and finding magic in "The moment", something I keep being reminded by the butterflies that visit me.

Do I take care of my family? It goes without saying. Do I take care of my home? Of course, I do. Do I take care of my heart? Probably not.

I have found my sanctuaries to relax and just be. I always fully acknowledged the present in its entirety—every aspect, including the playful, joyful moments, and the uncomfortable, challenging ones; taking it as the inevitable. I found my space to re-connect to myself learning to let go of everything, trying to get rid of my inner barriers, being gentler to myself. I ask myself when is the last time that I acknowledged the feelings that were asking for my attention. How do take care of myself from the inside out without depending on any outside force, so that I can fully feel alive.

It is a self disciplining to make life easy for me and others. A journey I undertake for my well being and to gain strength physically, mentally and emotionally. 

Winged love

Two winged mates,

in the magic of a sunset,

sat on a wall preening the other,

cuddled up in a love so true,

billing and cooing one another,

enfolding in a warmth of a wrap around,

pure-heartedly together as one,

lost in reverie,

with the depth of admiring and being adored,

a small fire aroused inside,

into a blazing inferno of the present moment.

© Geetha Paniker

Song of the soul.

There is a song inside my soul,
Of unsaid words,
that breathe inside me,

with the melody of my heart,
that picks a soul apart,
with a tinge of passion,
that stands the test of time.

© Geetha Paniker

Transit into solitude.

Life delivers a bouquet of memories,
tiny seeds of love sown in the heart,
blooming like flowers each passing day,
when nurtured with care and warmth.

In the passing sands of time,
life bestows many cherished moments,
taking me through meandering paths,
leaving an ache in the heart and soul.

Time renders a journey of solitude,
as priorities make a transitional change,
numbing the soul in silence,
with a yearning in the heart. 

© Geetha Paniker

Orange moon.

As the clouds roll by at the horizon,
the shy moon peeps through flushed,
beaming in yellow and orange,

with intense feelings and emotions,
embracing   the luminous sea-waves
that conceives it's light,
crinkled in its silvered capture.

© Geetha Paniker

Picturesque waterfalls.

The hills always allure me, the river flowing at the footsteps of the hills over rocks and then plummeting down into a waterfall with cool sprays of water that cover a large area is the most scenic spot that took my breath away. There is nothing refreshing to the mind as standing at the foot of the falls and being enveloped in the magical, cleansing spray of the cascading waters. The waterfall drops from a great height through several parallel streams with a scenic beauty that really took my breath away and I closed my eyes to breathe in the fresh air with the sprayed waters of the waterfall. 

Water tumbles down a hill side in a series of mini-falls and then cascades into a roaring white stream over the rocks; the sprays from which envelop you and fills joy in the heart and soul. Waterfall is a force of nature that is both beautiful and brutal; one that is tranquil from a distance but deafening up as you get closer to it. It seems like the cascades of water conjured up other cascades of equally powerful emotions and it takes the breath away at closer sight. Athirapally and Vazhachal are two majestic and picturesque waterfalls, that is simply spectacular. It is the most magnificent sight to behold. It is the most beautiful place to be in, amid the green of the forested hills of Sholayar forest ranges, the river flowing across over the rocks and the breathtaking waterfalls with the water spraying across. 

One can reach top of the falls with about 15 minutes walk from the falls entrance. It offers spectacular views of the Sholayar hills and a unique view of the waterfalls from this spot. About 10-15 minutes trek down from top of the falls will take you to bottom of the falls where the greatest beauty of the falls can be experienced.

Cherish me.

I shy not for what I am worth,
watching beauty of passing days,
feeling passion in  love,
like a flower that never wilts.

You awaken my heart,
and replenish the soul,
plaster a smile on my face,
with a twinkle in the eyes.

Captured by the passion,
I crave for cherished love,
with a smoldering fire,
overwhelmed by my senses.

Gkp

Enchanting unison.

I adore a flower that
glimmers in colorful essence,
petals unfurl revealing its golden heart,
at the first touch of sun's rays,
with a radiant beauty,
swaying and dancing,
in the arms of the wind,
butterfly comes fluttering by,
in enchanting unison.

Waterfall of life.

Every moment of your life is like a waterfall. The past is a river above, the future is the river below, and its fall is what the present is.  But there is calm always in the waterfall. To the unaware observer, it may seem  to be reckless or savage, but behind that  is the secret hidden tranquillity, the, faith,  letting go and trusting of life like that of the waterfall,  you are a part of the waterfall, that you are no longer 'in' the waters, but that you 'are' the water. No longer victim to it, no longer at its mercy, since you are inseparable from the waters. The waters of your life, loved for its rapids as well as for its peace.

Foggy morning.

 The astounding beauty of a foggy morning,

as cool breeze whisper through trees,
walking barefoot on the dew drenched grass,
my journey ahead fading in misty magic,
with a mystery of falling dewdrops,
I stride on hoping time pauses,
footsteps echoing in the howling  breeze,
wandering on a lost meandering path,
through days of love and passions that time forgot.

Gkp

Flame of words.

How do I appease the flame,

ending the burn in my soul,

of the words that batter me,

rendering me helpless,

with letters dancing around,

in the depth of my  heart.

How do I close my eyes,

for I behold a rain of words,

with a thunderous burst,

to appease an inferno,

evoking me to plunge into its depth.

How do I feel with my heart,

when a flame has been lit,

words heavy on my chest,

I burn inside me slowly,

the fire spreading through me.

Gkp

The ultimate truth!

Just as the sands of time,
slip through an hourglass,
the numbered days of life,
stare cold on the face,
with the ultimate truth of life.

The moments of life stand still,
in treasured memories of time,
cherishing those that bring solace,
to soothe the soul,
of its anguished pain.

I dare to challenge it,
in all its strength to overpower,
finding joy in the little blessings,
of those moments that held my heart,
in the warmth of a love so dear.

Gkp.

Lashing rains.

The howling wind whistled through the trees,

against the lashing torrential rains,

the trees swayed in the wind,

as the sky echoed in a thunderous clap,

inundating the streets,

reflecting all the lights around,

in the darkness of the night.

Abandoned solitude.

Journeying in abandoned solitude,
with an anguish in heart and soul,
detecting all I dote on drifting,
leaving me in a solitary island.

The heart yearns for just a call,
soul craves for the bonds,
tied to the heart like a lullaby
losing myself in sands of time.

Am I a bondage for bonds,
or is it time taking its toll,
my heart's enhanced bonds,
drift in the river of time.

Life takes me on a lonely path,
with only memories to treasure,
When moments are all I have,
in the sunset of my life.

Mist-kiss

Like a   mountain in a silent valley,
amongst the mist kissed mountains,
I stand tall and alone in the sands of time,
in solitude with nature.

Review of When I Fell in love with life.

http://www.indianbookreviews.com/2015/12/13/surviving-and-how/

A cup of coffee.

The aroma of cappuccino,

tantalizes my soul,

reverberates through a memory,

and resonates in my mind.

A cup of coffee brews,

freshens up the mind,

igniting a spark,

to fall in love with it.

A kiss of the cup,

it lingers on and on,

wafting its flavor,

with a yearning for more.

Fresh as a new dream,

its cream and color,

creates a heart,

cementing a bond forever.

Posted in HOP

Photo courtesy Adwaith Praveen.

Twilight magic.

The night's velvet brush,

paints the sky with twilight colors,

shrouded by dark heavy clouds,

descending in  a quiet hush,

splashing the  landscape with,

 a beauty that takes my breath away.

My tranquilizer.

When the day ends with,

a circle of beauty and time,

magic of every sunset,

nature's color in glorious perfection.

Sunset takes me along,

to a world of colors,

where thoughts are free,

like a flowing river.

The sun dips below,

making  me tranquil over,

 the trouble waters of my mind,

to beauty of the sunset.

A burning fire in the soul.

Gazing at the expanse of the sky,

I sense it  perceives ,

 the language of my heart and soul,

looking right through me intensely,

 the expressions of my mind,

as the clouds parade across,

with secrets, truths and a radiant glow,

of a burning fire in my soul, mind, heart and body.

Symphonic heart.

In an azure sky I found a heart,
with resonance of my heartbeats,
creating a symphony of melodious tunes,
a love that abides my soul,
 in a tiny drop of hope.

A new awakening of the heart,
intensely igniting my mind,
true to my feelings,
aflame with flowing thoughts,
never forsaking my tangled memories.

Glowing in anticipation of my belief,
still loving with all my heart,
unspoken words of the arrhythmic heart,
ink my words onto paper,
as a wellspring for my life.

Solitude of dusk.

In solitude of dusk,
I love the sunset,
That soothe's my soul,
Of the day's toil.

The sun shrouded by clouds,
Paints hues to yellow and orange,
In the canvas of sky,
Taking my breath away.

I feel a reassuring love envelop,
With a peaceful radiance,
As the sun takes leave,
Promising a new day.

A prelude to love.

A sunset abides like love,

colors blending in a magical hue,

passionate and true,

making a paradise beyond the sunset,

where true love awaits,

as a prelude.

in spectacular array

of Twilight colors,

like an unforgettable love. 

Whisper of a flame.

Like a whisper of a dying flame,

that shines in full splendor,

the setting sun blazes,

as it sinks down below,

with all its yearnings of the day.

Missing presence and absence.

In the absence and presence, it reveals the core of how you care for someone. Sometimes it is the absence that tells us what presence cannot. Really blessed are those whose presence and absence are felt in life. It is both the presence of the absent as well as absence of the present that reveals the depth of its value in life.

As I gaze around I question myself if it is the observing eye that is my culprit, or is it something else like introspection? Or is it that you miss many of the happy times? Health gone? Strength of mind dwindling? Belief in self waning? Relationships losing the luster? Many questions float around in the mind with all confusions. Then I thwart all questions propping up in the mind.

There are times when fond reminiscence leads me to a path, that makes me smile. It is in these muted, wistful moments that I think of certain facts that makes my eyes moist overcome with a sadness. It may be an old photograph, a text message or an event that triggers it with a train of thoughts  and memories.  A sense of nostalgia to re-live something that is heartwarming but one missing the warmth and care of a bond. It is a gulf between what was and what is; a part of me and my life that I re-visit time and again.

There is a strong foundation of nostalgia that is bittersweet. There is a longing for that bond as the sand in my hourglass trickles down. As I reflect back I can't help but feel a longing for that care and warmth. It is a deluge of thoughts and moments that went missing in the presence and absence.

Marooned in silence.

The strength of mother nature can be as frightening as it is beautiful and enthralling. One cannot underestimate the fury of mother nature. She sometimes reveals her fearsome power as much as her silent resilience. Nature's  fury is sometimes due to the harshness of man's  mistakes and it's effect is devastating. The power of mother earth can be awe inspiring as well as  destructively devastating turning you into a hapless and helpless child in her arms.

Everything goes for a toss when it rains non stop and starts becoming furiously merciless. There is only inundated roads and houses; no power or other ways of communication, you are marooned in a wall of silence. It is only the furious sounds of the incessant rains that you get to hear. You realize a lot of facts in life. You are not in a position to take the wrath of mother nature. It is believed that mother nature is considered as an embodiment of patience. Nature always bestows it's best, there is a limit for everything.

The river weathers the peace and fury of nature's moods, it muddles with its pristine waters, a beautiful entity  of nature that beauty personified well within its boundaries but devastatingly destructive when in spate flooding the whole area. It takes the brunt of the fury and finally breaks out furiously. Nature avenges for its exploitation.

I learned one great lesson of life, that anything exceeding it's boundaries or anything that is excess turns violent, threatening, paralysing and very dangerous. How much is too much? How little is too little? In the fury of nature you become mere silent spectators or victims of a ruthless ire. It is an irony of fate.