Missing presence and absence.

In the absence and presence, it reveals the core of how you care for someone. Sometimes it is the absence that tells us what presence cannot. Really blessed are those whose presence and absence are felt in life. It is both the presence of the absent as well as absence of the present that reveals the depth of its value in life.

As I gaze around I question myself if it is the observing eye that is my culprit, or is it something else like introspection? Or is it that you miss many of the happy times? Health gone? Strength of mind dwindling? Belief in self waning? Relationships losing the luster? Many questions float around in the mind with all confusions. Then I thwart all questions propping up in the mind.

There are times when fond reminiscence leads me to a path, that makes me smile. It is in these muted, wistful moments that I think of certain facts that makes my eyes moist overcome with a sadness. It may be an old photograph, a text message or an event that triggers it with a train of thoughts  and memories.  A sense of nostalgia to re-live something that is heartwarming but one missing the warmth and care of a bond. It is a gulf between what was and what is; a part of me and my life that I re-visit time and again.

There is a strong foundation of nostalgia that is bittersweet. There is a longing for that bond as the sand in my hourglass trickles down. As I reflect back I can't help but feel a longing for that care and warmth. It is a deluge of thoughts and moments that went missing in the presence and absence.