At ease in your own shell.

"Try to be like a turtle, at ease in your own shell." Bill Copeland.  There was a time I thought of this quote in a different perspective and wrote about it too. But today, after having gone through some bitter times in my journey of life and having learned lessons the hard way, it holds a different meaning to me altogether. There are a lot of different ways one could look at this quote...a lot of different perspectives to it. One way it means that a turtle living in its shell is quite comfortable in that way of life. For me, it always meant 'Be yourself," and be happy that way. I have always been comfortable being me....a rare kind and a rebel as I call myself always because I always question myself and everything that happens to me.

Another perspective of it, as I feel strongly today is, be yourself and just let things be....being in my own shell just taking care of myself...just loving...letting go what can't be changed and leaving rest to time...not interfering ..giving space and allowing to grow....do what is to be done and stay in the shadows and watch with pride the growth of the ones you love. Be in myown shell doing what makes me most happy. I feel that no matter what my appearance is, what I was, what I am, it doesn’t matter as long as I am me and I feel as amazing about myself as well as everyone else....Embracing who I am instead of trying to change it....

Another way I look at it is the turtle as an individual....the shell as the character and personality of an individual. Everyone has a different personality...the one each individual portrays...there may be a reason to it...every turtle has a different shell and each one tries to be comfortable with it. All have an invisible shell...the one that each individual's comfort zone. Respect it and let it be!

Today I like to look within myself, discover the wonders around me and be at ease within my own shell never ceasing to be who I am.  

A metaphor that amused me.

A tiny raindrop on top of the hibiscus stamen attracted me to it. I was trying to take a click of it that gave me a clear picture of the raindrop.
Bees are fascinating creatures, the buzzing of bees as they progress from flower to flower collecting pollen and nectar is a pleasant sound.
Lo! A honey bee flew around and alighted on top of the raindrop. I was sad but just watched the bee as it just softly moved around on top of the stamen a few seconds.  The bee after that was in a frenzy all over the stamen with no gentleness.  The bee was in a hurry not savoring the moments.  I had always thought of a flower as a woman and a bee as a man. For sometime I just couldn't but compare what I saw to a man-woman love. Bees seek flowers like men and women seek each other; unable to resist scent and beauty creating a new life intensely.
A woman that embraces the innate nature of a flower, is a sight to behold in all her radiance and inner beauty.

I was reminded of the verse of Khalil Gibran,
"For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,
And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,
And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy. "

Truth of life.

The falling leaves speak
in whispers the reality of life
the silence in solitude
if you have a heart to listen.

Aging with seasons
transfiguring what existed
to embrace the real transition
lost in the winds of time.

In every fallen leaf is a soul,
that sighs as it falls,
with a pain of let go,
a yearning in the heart.

Causing a rustling sound
when tread on,
 as it gathers in anticipation
to make a grave for a lost soul.
©Geetha Paniker

The unloved flower.

Do you ever feel a special attraction towards dandelions? I love weeds.. the unloved ones....and I love the ones with puffball, specially dandelions.  When they begin to bloom they are a timeless symbol of life. They are tiny parachutes of life...each seed. When I see dandelions they remind me of one fact that,  “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  When I am the beholder I view the “weeds”  as beautifully flawed and amazing,  finding beauty in the most common little things.

Just like the dandelion puffball let go of each seed,  it frees to let go of everything. Let go and pursue!  Remember  that a “weed” is but a beautiful flower!  I like to bring out the child in me  again! The dandelion is a child’s flower. I love to blow the seeds and  create magic in the moment.

I love the staying power of a dandelion, resilient and resistant; stretching its roots so deep and straight that no amount of tugging on its stem would  tear it completely from life. It is like coming back to face the world with a bright, sunshiny face even after being run over with a lawn-mower completely.

Dandelions are considered weeds....unwanted in a garden....but  I would like to pick a  bouquet of these little yellow flower, that is most beautiful. It is a  a  thrill to see the seeds of the dandelion spread with the wind, like tiny parachutes of life.
To me the dandelion is a miniature sun that later turns into a moon, the transition from a flower to a round puffball exploding form.

Beauty of solitude

Some memories become memorable. Soaking in the silhouette  of a cloudy sky,  languishing in its beauty, these chinese fishing nets are hypnotic sight indeed indeed ! It is such a picturesque sight of elemental beauty that is breathtaking. The delicate filigree of the nets in the backwaters etched against the evening sky is a beautiful sight to behold.
The huge cantilevered Chinese fishing nets that that droop towards the waters like over-sized hammocks look intriguing and amazing. I saw the net descended into the water for a short time and then raised delicately by pulling on the ropes. The slow rhythm and balancing of the net was spellbinding to me, being a first-time viewer.
The simple, yet beautiful Chinese fishing nets which silhouette against the evening sky with the sun peeping out of the billowing clouds attracts me and holds my heart, mind and soul.  My mind and eye are stuck on the Chinese fishing nets, that are a mute legacy handed down over generations. As the car was speeding past these nets I wanted my time to standstill for a few moments, so that I could cherish those moments and memories. I felt
incomplete without clicking a picture of a sunset behind the Chinese Fishing nets as the sun was busy playing hide and seek with the clouds.
It was a beautiful drive in solitude just savoring those precious moments full of these beautiful sights and just water stretching miles along the road.  Beauty and solitude with little things that made the soul dance in bliss.

Cancer-Anniversary. I can honestly say cancer changed my life.

An anniversary is a day to celebrate an occasion or an event or something significant in life. It is a milestone of something very precious. For me it is a time to reflect back on a time when cancer taught me the value of time and life; a time that made me realize the meaning of living life fully feeling alive. I strongly feel that milestones go hand in hand with cancer. For me they are the signposts along the road of life that show how far I have  gone in my journey through life with cancer.  Many cancer survivors have mixed emotions about milestones and anniversaries of their 'fight or love story with cancer.'  They trigger a range of emotions, from gratitude and relief, from pain and sadness to fear of cancer recurrence, even after years have passed.

For me it has been a constant fight. I complete five years of my daily battle with pain. Everytime I am faced with a new challenge. I learned that cancers are of many types and forms. Dealing with triple negative cancer twice in five years, I should say I have the feeling of having won a great battle. Everything in life comes with its own price and I am paying for every little thing. Sometimes I feel it is a price paid for not taking care of myself.

I realize I possibly can’t pour from an empty cup. This seems to be a metaphor to prioritize  and a tough concept too. It is true that I can't pour out anything from an empty cup, be it physical, psychological or emotional. It is not about being selfless but taking care to refill the energy time and again, be it whichever way I choose. I need to learn at some juncture that I am crossing all limits  that make me forget to take care of myself until it is too late to revert back the body and its wear and tear. Only when the body begins to run low and empties itself of all energies, that one shudders to stop.

This quote really got into my mind, making me think about it for a long time. Readdressing priorities are something I need to do, at least after having gone through cancer that zapped me of my health, I realize that I should have been more careful. It has  been long five years now, a triple negative cancer twice and then it has been a long daily battle of after effects...taking care of the hands that has no lymph nodes...keeping up the flexibility of the body and the aching bones...re-nerving my nerves that gives me a burning pain...with all these and more...Do I shudder to think if I am taking the care my body needs?  I can't possibly pour from an empty cup. I need to refill my cup. How do I do that? I am faced with a decision of what's more important.

Life after cancer is not the same for all. The after care of cancer seems very important. Rejuvenating the body is as important as anything else. 'The emperor of all Maladies,' gives me a chance to rejoice by celebrating my 'cancerversary.' I have to thank my close family members and  few friends for standing by me withstanding all my mood changes whenever my inner spirit dwindled a bit,  tired of fighting a daily battle.

As I introspect, I I realize I’m very grateful for the little things in life that give me great joy today because of cancer.

SILHOUETTES: Interview Session by Divya Bandorkar for her blog ...

SILHOUETTES: Interview Session by Divya Bandorkar for her blog ...: [Ask and Answer] Interview Session with Arun M. Sivakrishna By:  Divya Bandodkar  on  08:46 SHARE IT PLEASE ...