The beacon of fortitude.

Chennai sky has been displaying its artistic creativity over the week. The sky was fully of fluffy white clouds parading all over its vast expanse.  The clouds were lazily drifting across an otherwise perfect forget-me-not blue sky.

As I was watching the sky in awe, I saw a patch among the white fluffy clouds that looked like an enlarged heart....My first thought was of an oozing heart with an open and gushing wound that refuses to heal giving a gnawing pain in the soul....then I saw that enlarged heart being filled up by the fluffy clouds that just drifted making me think of Richard Bach's quote, "A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reason and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons." So I just thought to myself leave the illusions and be realistic and just move on like the clouds. There is no problem in life without a gift for you is what he says....very true because life is a constant learning experience and it teaches a lot, maybe the hard way.

I was on the road traveling to meet a friend and even at 6pm the sun was shining brightly enjoying the company of the parading clouds all over the sky. I looked at the sky in all four directions and saw that on one side was the smiling sun saying, “All is well," right in front of me the sky looked like it was covered with snow-capped mountains, on my right was dark gray clouds. But on the whole, the sky looked very beautiful. So is the life I chuckled to myself.

 The sky seemed a beacon of fortitude to me. The colors create concrete images in the mind of the beholder imparting a deeper meaning to them. Blue gives a sense of calmness, peace, happiness, relaxation and comfort, while gray is considered depressing and gloomy. But the realistic fact is that it is the gray clouds that give an array of rainbow colors to the blue sky...... so they have to co-exist.  I always find my answers in the vast expanse of the sky...the answers to the entire why, where, what, when and how of a rebel in me. The sunrises give me the energy to see me through the day and the sunsets give me hope and solace after a tiring day.  

Living the little moments of life.

Living in the moment and appreciating the little things of life give immense joy.   Be it a road trip, day dreaming about your writing,  brooding over an argument or burying your head in your smart phone, it’s easy to find yourselves in a million places other than the here and now, the magic of the present moment around you.

It is believed that when you are young you have novel experiences and create more vivid memories, but as you age, it becomes less “new” or “first time” experiences. There are no unique memories to stand out. I beg to differ in that belief. You make memories and every memory is new if you wish it to be. It is the way you look at it from your point of view.

Be “in the moment," then time seems to stand still in the magic of the moment, no matter what you are doing; cooking, writing on a paper, or watching a sunset or how old you are, you can definitely experience it like it’s a “first time.” Then the question arises as to how often  you are truly present in your life? Sometimes in life, you have to slow down and enjoy life more. You may try for a little while, but then off to the races again, filling your lives with more work and distractions.

Your perspective determines how you see and judge everything in life. And try as you may, you cannot run from the perspective that comes from growing older. You are reminded  of what’s really important in life when life is threatened.  It all bogs down to remembering what’s your priority in life.

"I believe in little adventures and amazing experiences, that makes me contemplate on life.  It teaches me  not to pin my hopes for happiness on far-off  things but those little things I see around me. It reminds me to live in the moment and  embrace the  awesome in every day."

Scintillating luminous iridescent clouds.

The breathtaking rainbow colors in the sky show an extremely rare, multi-colored cloud hovering over dark clouds with the sun behind it. It is Iridescence with the cloud glowing in a dazzling array of colors in  an incredible way. As the sun sets they blaze unbelievably bright, with vivid and slowly shifting iridescent colors. This rare effect  is created by light refracting off ice crystals in the water body of clouds, rather than water particles close to Earth, creating a 'flying' rainbow. Clouds are well known to have silver linings but many of the little fluffy things seen hanging over have also been tinged with red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Just looking in awe and wonder at the beauty of the sky and the rare display of colors gives a child-like joy wondering what lay behind those colorful clouds. 

Recently Chennai skies have been displaying this rainbow colors in the clouds and at such times you can see pattern formation in the dark clouds; like a doggy gazing at the sky....the rainbow colored cloud changing shapes from a bird to a fish etc...The cloud formations look like bears, dragons and what a beholder could imagine at that point of time. These iridescent clouds fill one with a wonder.


I love watching these clouds as they slowly add color to the sky with different formations in the clouds making the evening sky devastatingly beautiful. It looks like an embroidery of rich colors. 

A dragonfly moment.

There are times nature awakens us to a deeper sense of self-awareness, an awakening never seen or felt before. As you observe you see and feel something appears before you in your life, it may be an insect that gives you an awakening to explore a deeper meaning of your life. A dragonfly is such because its metaphoric emergence from a nymph to a dragonfly reminds you that anything is possible, a potential and capability to fulfill your birthright in its true sense.

A dragonfly is an agile flyer that can hover, go up or down, forward or backward, and left or right, an ability to encompass all seven directions including its ability of flight from gliding to flying past through air. A dragonfly comes forth with a concept of birth to not only new ideas but a more evolved way of thinking altogether.

I write this today because I happened to observe a beautiful dragonfly sitting on a cable wire. The dragonfly perched itself on the cable and concentrated on something, a closer look at it I was amazed to see two ants carrying its food. The dragonfly waited till the two ants came closer and The dragonfly too  ate it leaving the ants...This is how it is in love and life too. It was a kind of awakening for me.

A dragonfly symbolizes good luck, strength, peace, harmony, light, and transformation, the unconsciousness mind, defeat of self-created illusions, opening one's eyes, and maturity. It shows changes, the kind of change that is psychological and emotional, with a deeper understanding of the meaning of life. It shows a kind of depth in character as one age, going beyond what's on the surface into a deeper aspect of life. I admire its power to poise, an awe-inspiring aspect being accomplishing the goals with utmost simplicity, elegance, and grace.

Flamboyance of the Gulmohar.

The Gulmohar trees enrich our lives, reassuring us with the rustle of their leaves and bring delight to us with their colorful blossoms. They seem to emanate a sense of permanence in our lives with their roots deep rooted in the earth yet touching the skies and understand their silences.

The fruits and seeds of a tree feed the body, but beauty feeds the soul. There are times we fail to observe nature surviving & blossoming in very severe climatic conditions. What is more uplifting than the sight of the Gulmohar flowers amidst the rainy weather?  At the end of summer, it cheers the soul as the petals unfold brightly on the trees and fall bravely to the ground.

It is a pleasure to see the tree-tops inflamed with red bright bursts all around. But as the pleasant breeze blows, the canopy of red flowers with streaks of orange, white and yellow present a beautiful picture to soothe the mind with nature's beauty leaving us spellbound. The feathery fern-like leaves are exceedingly beautiful. It is vibrant and a great symbol of flamboyance.

The Gulmohar in full bloom stirs the heart of poets and lovers alike. I am reminded of the beautiful thoughts expressed poetically on the strikingly flamboyant blossoms by Sarojini Naidu. 

Passionate thunderstorm.

A bolt of lightning tore across the sky and a peal of thunder followed; the rains lashed out in fury with raging wind. I love the forked flash of lighting and the applauding clap of thunder that follows it. The sighing wind thrashed the tree tops as the branches shook. The lightning and thunder continued their affair incessantly   with passion. The thundering sheet of rain lashed in fury and then subsided into a tender blowing breeze with a drizzle.

A thunderstorm is likened to the intense emotions that go on inside you.  Being embarrassed by your feeling is like being afraid of the climatic conditions because euphoric emotions are the weather conditions of the inner self, the real you. It’s not surprising that thunderstorm often bring out powerful emotions, ranging from excitement to fear...igniting your deeper selves. They have a great impact on you. It is the calm after a storm that matters.

The fading sun.

The first impression while watching a sunset is that it is a beautiful and mystifying creation of the nature that leaves a great image in beholder's mind,  however, sometimes those images  associate with a comparison of the sunset of one's life. Yet I believe that I can find inner peace by being in direct contact with Mother Nature and her creations that fill me with wonder and tranquil moments watching the breathtaking view. All I know being one with sunrise or sunset is that I’ve found my happy place, where I find my answers.

One of the most beautiful aspects of watching a sunset is the mango rays disappearing slowly behind thick dark clouds as if the sun itself had a specific time schedule tuned by an hourglass. As darkness slowly creeps upon the dying light, the entire landscape becomes different. The sky becomes an index of the most beautiful colors , the azure sky fading into   twilight colour so pure. My rendezvous with the sun always leaves me in a trance and all I do is let the sunset paint before my eyes, with its palette of colors.

For those moments nothing else mattered except the beauty of the setting sun. It makes me realize that peace in my soul is just a sunset away and cleansing my  soul is just as easy as standing there, all pores open, and letting the sights blow my mind with the gentle winds caress my skin taking me  deep into my memories. It is as though I am leaving the world behind but standing on top of it all at once, healing all my oozing scars.

A dawn with new hope.

The cloudy skies sometimes clear up to usher in the sun rising from the horizon through the dark clouds paving its way to the parading white fluffy clouds. The sun peeps out slowly and taking  the time to gaze at the horizon as  the sun breaks through the morning sky is truly magnificent. It could be a reminder of new beginnings and new opportunities. The dark clouds move in the morning sky as if kissed by the sun into brilliant white, moving over the sea changing shapes. The clouds drift lazily in the breeze without the destinations while the sun still peeps through them with a new hope of existence. It gives a sense of new beginnings with new seeds of courage

The  changing appearance of the sun is just like the changing emotions.  Every day there is change, the sunrise is never the same, neither is dawn but the end of the day, what remains of the body, mind, and soul is my true perception. And that part will never leave me whether I shine or not through my inner spark every moment. Sunrises are special, for it scripts a new day, so are sunsets as they give hope for a new day. I wake up or drag myself up to see the sunrises daily wanting to live life fully and passionately.

The tumultuous, dark, ragged cloudy morning.

I love the sight, sound, and smell of the sea, especially on a cloudy day, when the blue shade of dawn is overpowered by the gray cloudy sky with the first rays of light trying to push through the clouds.  The cloudy sea front, after a thunderstorm the previous night feels cold and it is a beautiful feeling walking on the wet sand with the waves tickling my toes. The sea  as gray as the cloud laden sky and  looked inviting, to walk into  its depth of tranquility. The feel of the seaside sand scratching under my feet and the water touching me with  such tenderness, with the white fluffs of froth on top of the overlapping waves.

Time freezes all my thoughts wishing it stayed so. I feel tempted to  whisper to my conscience that I have my cloudy days, too. The sky and the sea never fail to amaze me, filled with its mysteries and endless amounts of space. The morning sky, mostly cloudy with the deep blue-grey that mirrored its hues in the sea...muted like a matte finish photograph with a dim light evokes a different emotion altogether...an over-flowing wonder, yet with so much space and a void too. 

The gift of sunrise.

The sea is a calm, quiet escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life. It is breathtaking to see the sky light up slowly in the early hours of the morning, watching dawn usher in the sun to brighten the day and the dark blue of the night fade away with the lavender light invading the horizon. The wonder of creation is known only when you take the time to watch it. The sunrise is one of the most beautiful sights of nature and without any doubt it stirs a peculiar emotion. The mere pleasant sight of sunrise calms the mind of the beholder. The first glimpse of the sun rising above the horizon could make your day.

There can be nothing more pleasing to the senses than the sunrise and sunsets both evoking different emotions altogether. Nature is at its best at this heavenly hour. It marks the journey of the sun in the sky, a small ball of light in the sky casting away the cloak of night. It is a rare joy to be awake at sunrise.

In the beauty of sunrise,
colors bleed through the sky,
making memories in the mind,
creating a bounce in everything,
to script another day.

The blushing dawn.

The dawn was gray, but with hues of the soothing lavender. The colors merged into pink and peach. I walked to the beach watching the colors of dawn. An early morning walk after three hectic months, my steps faltered making me lose balance. The silver gray water was shimmering, reflecting the sky that was painted with streaks of lavender and pink, the waves whispering.  Sometimes while describing the beauty of nature, words evade me. The view of the sky in wonderful hues of pink and lavender stirred my heart in awe and thrilled at the rare beauty that Mother Nature gifted me.

On an early morning, when the sun had still not awakened, the breeze of the wind caressed my body. It seemed so quiet and tranquil as I felt the waves wash away my footprints marked on the sand. The first time, grains of sand hurt my feet, but the foamy, bubbling waves soothed that pain away. The playful waves drenched me completely taking me quite unawares. The sounds of birds and the undulating waves brought a new rhythm to life. The landscape was so mysterious, shimmering and magical. It was a surreal mix of fact and fantasy. The sun refused to emerge out of the horizon, but its rays penetrated the gray clouds throwing its light around.

Everyone has a place of escape from all the pressures of life, which can soothe all troubles in times of stress. When I am at the beach all my troubles get erased, filling me with a tranquil peace.

The poise of dawn's dim light,

muted the placid sky,

with blushing hues amidst gray,

smiling at the crack of day,

warming my inside with new hopes.

Celebrating hope and life.

Cancer has been a teacher and an eye opener to me. It taught me lots of lessons in the journey of life, the value of life itself and also how to live life to the fullest counting the little blessings and joys sent my way. Every single day is a gift. Whenever fear comes to meet me I try to flip it around to love it.

This is for all those who have gone through and going through the journey of cancer. The challenges of cancer are far more complicated than one can ever imagine. It tells of one's struggle to come to terms with everything that life throws in the path to recovery and thereafter. It  explores the events of illness from within,  the transformation , the pain, the wonder, and the  recovery documenting the complexities of what each one goes through with grit and determination. The life after cancer is not a smooth path for many with lots of pain and problems cropping up every now and then.

“We all have two lives. The second one begins when we realize we only have one.” ~Confucius How true it is....this realization comes when faced with cancer...a value of being able to breathe as you wake up every single day. Though the feeling of being tampered with seeps in, it eventually doesn't matter.To get up in the morning and feel healthy, comfortable, and full of energy is a beautiful thing. To feel normal is extraordinary. Even when one gets up with pain, it is beautiful because after a point of time pain  becomes beautiful. The daily challenges do  bring down the spirits, but it doesn't remain for long. Finding ways to get out of that feeling is the victory. At times you feel that even those ways of feeling refreshed are snatched away by time...but then finding other openings to put your heart and soul into is most important.
I have realized everything starts with me...how I feel, how I live....I have to nurture myself.  I realized how important it is for me and for everyone around me because the ripple effect it has is profound.
I had always wanted to  write before cancer, and only because of my diagnosis did I actually start writing. I can’t change things that happen to me or around me  but I can choose the way I feel about them. I would never know when, if, or how drastically things can change in a heartbeat. I appreciate all that I have now and it is  the now that I really have, only now is all I am guaranteed. I know life is an adventure....and that adventure I love as it wonders me and it is always a path of the unknown. I look up to mother nature as my teacher whenever I feel low and I get my answers there.
“You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and darn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. ” ~Elizabeth Taylor

A butterfly moment.

"A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam...

and for a brief moment its glory

and beauty belongs to our world...

but then it flies on again, and although

we wish it could have stayed,

we are so thankful to have seen it at all."

If  you have ever noticed the fleeting beauty of a butterfly as it floats by you would have noticed that they  have a magical quality that appears so ethereal and fragile, much like fairies dancing in the air.

Whenever nature gifts me magical  moments, it mesmerizes me. The butterfly moments really captivate the heart, soul and mind.  Watching two butterflies in flight chasing the other, playing hide and seek, in love.....That is real love in the air. I watched them in awe till they were out of my sight feeling happy for those precious moments.

A butterfly is an embodiment of transformation and  fearlessly leaves the safety of its cocoon to meet a new world in a new form, trusting its untried wings to allow it to fly. There is something about the butterfly that seems to inspire me, and these butterflies flitting around is love in truth giving a magical effect to the present moment.

No doubt it is a mesmerizing experience and an awe that is felt at the sight of its captivating beauty and grace as it gently floats by. Delicate and surreal, they move through vast landscapes as if dancing on air.

More than just captivating my heart and imagination, the butterfly is also one of the most profound and enduring symbols of change and transformation to me. Its journey and metamorphosis from humble earthbound caterpillar to winged beauty with the gift of flight carries a powerful meaning to me that speaks of own capacity to move through different life cycles, mirroring  own journeys of regeneration, renewal, expansion and rejuvenation.  It is an unfolding of a continuous process of my life moving from one state to another in perspective, meaning and value of life itself.

A train of thoughts.

Quite often I hear the phrase 'a train of thoughts. I have been lost in a train of thoughts many times....it could be something that went by or something happening...but I do get lost in a train of thoughts, in my own world. Sometimes it is a sequence of what happened or happens, but I bet all do get lost in thoughts. The flow of thoughts is continual but they do get derailed quite often.

Can I be influenced by thoughts? Can anything influence the train of thoughts? The answer is definitely a big 'yes'! Sitting quietly in solitude in a train of thoughts, all sounds from nature can influence me, in a positive way. It derails the negativity in the train of thoughts giving me positive answers to all the negativity.....the demons in the mind.

A little thought arises in my mind; its nature proliferates and grows as a train of thoughts, then emotions and feelings. I love chugging along this train of thoughts in my own world, at my own pace and in solitude.

At ease in your own shell.

"Try to be like a turtle, at ease in your own shell." Bill Copeland.  There was a time I thought of this quote in a different perspective and wrote about it too. But today, after having gone through some bitter times in my journey of life and having learned lessons the hard way, it holds a different meaning to me altogether. There are a lot of different ways one could look at this quote...a lot of different perspectives to it. One way it means that a turtle living in its shell is quite comfortable in that way of life. For me, it always meant 'Be yourself," and be happy that way. I have always been comfortable being me....a rare kind and a rebel as I call myself always because I always question myself and everything that happens to me.

Another perspective of it, as I feel strongly today is, be yourself and just let things be....being in my own shell just taking care of myself...just loving...letting go what can't be changed and leaving rest to time...not interfering ..giving space and allowing to grow....do what is to be done and stay in the shadows and watch with pride the growth of the ones you love. Be in myown shell doing what makes me most happy. I feel that no matter what my appearance is, what I was, what I am, it doesn’t matter as long as I am me and I feel as amazing about myself as well as everyone else....Embracing who I am instead of trying to change it....

Another way I look at it is the turtle as an individual....the shell as the character and personality of an individual. Everyone has a different personality...the one each individual portrays...there may be a reason to it...every turtle has a different shell and each one tries to be comfortable with it. All have an invisible shell...the one that each individual's comfort zone. Respect it and let it be!

Today I like to look within myself, discover the wonders around me and be at ease within my own shell never ceasing to be who I am.  

A metaphor that amused me.

A tiny raindrop on top of the hibiscus stamen attracted me to it. I was trying to take a click of it that gave me a clear picture of the raindrop.
Bees are fascinating creatures, the buzzing of bees as they progress from flower to flower collecting pollen and nectar is a pleasant sound.
Lo! A honey bee flew around and alighted on top of the raindrop. I was sad but just watched the bee as it just softly moved around on top of the stamen a few seconds.  The bee after that was in a frenzy all over the stamen with no gentleness.  The bee was in a hurry not savoring the moments.  I had always thought of a flower as a woman and a bee as a man. For sometime I just couldn't but compare what I saw to a man-woman love. Bees seek flowers like men and women seek each other; unable to resist scent and beauty creating a new life intensely.
A woman that embraces the innate nature of a flower, is a sight to behold in all her radiance and inner beauty.

I was reminded of the verse of Khalil Gibran,
"For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,
And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,
And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy. "

Truth of life.

The falling leaves speak
in whispers the reality of life
the silence in solitude
if you have a heart to listen.

Aging with seasons
transfiguring what existed
to embrace the real transition
lost in the winds of time.

In every fallen leaf is a soul,
that sighs as it falls,
with a pain of let go,
a yearning in the heart.

Causing a rustling sound
when tread on,
 as it gathers in anticipation
to make a grave for a lost soul.
©Geetha Paniker

The unloved flower.

Do you ever feel a special attraction towards dandelions? I love weeds.. the unloved ones....and I love the ones with puffball, specially dandelions.  When they begin to bloom they are a timeless symbol of life. They are tiny parachutes of life...each seed. When I see dandelions they remind me of one fact that,  “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  When I am the beholder I view the “weeds”  as beautifully flawed and amazing,  finding beauty in the most common little things.

Just like the dandelion puffball let go of each seed,  it frees to let go of everything. Let go and pursue!  Remember  that a “weed” is but a beautiful flower!  I like to bring out the child in me  again! The dandelion is a child’s flower. I love to blow the seeds and  create magic in the moment.

I love the staying power of a dandelion, resilient and resistant; stretching its roots so deep and straight that no amount of tugging on its stem would  tear it completely from life. It is like coming back to face the world with a bright, sunshiny face even after being run over with a lawn-mower completely.

Dandelions are considered weeds....unwanted in a garden....but  I would like to pick a  bouquet of these little yellow flower, that is most beautiful. It is a  a  thrill to see the seeds of the dandelion spread with the wind, like tiny parachutes of life.
To me the dandelion is a miniature sun that later turns into a moon, the transition from a flower to a round puffball exploding form.

Beauty of solitude

Some memories become memorable. Soaking in the silhouette  of a cloudy sky,  languishing in its beauty, these chinese fishing nets are hypnotic sight indeed indeed ! It is such a picturesque sight of elemental beauty that is breathtaking. The delicate filigree of the nets in the backwaters etched against the evening sky is a beautiful sight to behold.
The huge cantilevered Chinese fishing nets that that droop towards the waters like over-sized hammocks look intriguing and amazing. I saw the net descended into the water for a short time and then raised delicately by pulling on the ropes. The slow rhythm and balancing of the net was spellbinding to me, being a first-time viewer.
The simple, yet beautiful Chinese fishing nets which silhouette against the evening sky with the sun peeping out of the billowing clouds attracts me and holds my heart, mind and soul.  My mind and eye are stuck on the Chinese fishing nets, that are a mute legacy handed down over generations. As the car was speeding past these nets I wanted my time to standstill for a few moments, so that I could cherish those moments and memories. I felt
incomplete without clicking a picture of a sunset behind the Chinese Fishing nets as the sun was busy playing hide and seek with the clouds.
It was a beautiful drive in solitude just savoring those precious moments full of these beautiful sights and just water stretching miles along the road.  Beauty and solitude with little things that made the soul dance in bliss.

Cancer-Anniversary. I can honestly say cancer changed my life.

An anniversary is a day to celebrate an occasion or an event or something significant in life. It is a milestone of something very precious. For me it is a time to reflect back on a time when cancer taught me the value of time and life; a time that made me realize the meaning of living life fully feeling alive. I strongly feel that milestones go hand in hand with cancer. For me they are the signposts along the road of life that show how far I have  gone in my journey through life with cancer.  Many cancer survivors have mixed emotions about milestones and anniversaries of their 'fight or love story with cancer.'  They trigger a range of emotions, from gratitude and relief, from pain and sadness to fear of cancer recurrence, even after years have passed.

For me it has been a constant fight. I complete five years of my daily battle with pain. Everytime I am faced with a new challenge. I learned that cancers are of many types and forms. Dealing with triple negative cancer twice in five years, I should say I have the feeling of having won a great battle. Everything in life comes with its own price and I am paying for every little thing. Sometimes I feel it is a price paid for not taking care of myself.

I realize I possibly can’t pour from an empty cup. This seems to be a metaphor to prioritize  and a tough concept too. It is true that I can't pour out anything from an empty cup, be it physical, psychological or emotional. It is not about being selfless but taking care to refill the energy time and again, be it whichever way I choose. I need to learn at some juncture that I am crossing all limits  that make me forget to take care of myself until it is too late to revert back the body and its wear and tear. Only when the body begins to run low and empties itself of all energies, that one shudders to stop.

This quote really got into my mind, making me think about it for a long time. Readdressing priorities are something I need to do, at least after having gone through cancer that zapped me of my health, I realize that I should have been more careful. It has  been long five years now, a triple negative cancer twice and then it has been a long daily battle of after effects...taking care of the hands that has no lymph nodes...keeping up the flexibility of the body and the aching bones...re-nerving my nerves that gives me a burning pain...with all these and more...Do I shudder to think if I am taking the care my body needs?  I can't possibly pour from an empty cup. I need to refill my cup. How do I do that? I am faced with a decision of what's more important.

Life after cancer is not the same for all. The after care of cancer seems very important. Rejuvenating the body is as important as anything else. 'The emperor of all Maladies,' gives me a chance to rejoice by celebrating my 'cancerversary.' I have to thank my close family members and  few friends for standing by me withstanding all my mood changes whenever my inner spirit dwindled a bit,  tired of fighting a daily battle.

As I introspect, I I realize I’m very grateful for the little things in life that give me great joy today because of cancer.